Saturday, November 04, 2006

Another reason to hate me. Or maybe just think I'm a big weirdo with a lot of time on my hands.

Sometimes time lies heavy on my hands. And my hands happen to be near a computer keyboard. A keyboard, I hasten to add, connected to the internet. Preferably with a fast connection.

So. You know how you'll be fooling around doing a Blog Things or Quizilla quiz and you'll see an ad for an on-line dating service?

Yeah, me too.

OK, so what I do when I'm really bored? Is set up a profile on one of those dating services. I pick a dating service that will appeal to the kind of men I'd like to see stranded on a desert island. Then I write up a FABULOUS sounding profile, designed to appeal to their designated demographic.

For example, with RepublicanPeopleMeet, I'll talk about how I go to church every Sunday and voted for Bush and think all the country's problems would be solved if we just cut out income taxes and got rid of those whiney liberals. And for Passion.com, I might go on and on about how I'm looking for nights of hot, passionate boffing. For Sugardaddie.com, I'll make it quite clear that I am an amazing babe who is auctioning herself off to the highest bidder.

Now of course, men being so visual, I need a photograph. As one of me isn't likely to inspire nearly enough time-wasting fantasizing and emailing on the part of my quarry, I need to get creative. A composite consisting of Jessica Simpson's body, Britney Spears' face, and Cindy Crawford's hair does the trick.

Then I wait for the emails to roll in.

So. If you're a man, and you visit dating sites? If a girl sounds too good to be true? She is. I know, because she's me.

p.s. Just kdding.
p.p.s. Or am I?

5 comments:

  1. I hope you're not kidding because this is hiLARious and awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  2. She's not kidding.

    Which is why my fake alter-ego left her stranded at the gas station in Dubuque.

    -J.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not every girl you meet on the internet is too good to be true. Recently I've been chatting with a girl who looks uncannily like Jessica Alba and loves Led Zeppelin and Dungeons and Dragons, JUST LIKE ME! I'm supposed to be meeting her at the mall the day after Thanksgiving. She said to stand in the middle of the food court wearing a bright orange velour jumpsuit and singing Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" so she would recognize me. I think it's love!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy Click and Comment Monday.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am a successful man and I am not looking for a sugar babe. But I still want to find a hot girl who is not a gold digger. I signed up on this MillionaireMatch and gave it a try. One of my friends has found his perfect match via this site. Fairy tales do come true. LOL. I did a search and found many quality girls there. I believe I can find my special someone thanks to their concept of romance for successful singles.

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.