Apparently, the call of my Mr. Rogers cardigan and sneakers was just too strong.

I feel old fartdom creeping up on me like mildew on a shower curtain. And this is why.

We went to a friend's 50th birthday party tonight. It was fun--lots of nibbles, lots of wine, tons of people packed into their apartment. Huge cake the size of a garbage can cover covered with candles.

Well, the party started at 6:00 and we got there around 6:30. And at one point, after we'd been at the party for a while, I found myself looking at my watch to see how we were doing. And it was only 8:30.

We had a babysitter and had told her we were planning on leaving the party at 10:00, which would get us home at 11:00.

But I found myself thinking--would it really make a difference to the success of this party if we stayed until 10:00? Not really. Not with 100 people in the apartment.

So I asked my husband what he thought about leaving at 9:00. He thought that would be fine.

And then I thought, why wait until 9:00? Why not leave now? Get an early start on the drive home? Get out of the party clothes and into something comfy?

People, this may have been our friend's 50th birthday party, but I swear, I feel old fartdom creeping up on me.

My only consolation was that we didn't ride down the elevator by ourselves. Other couples were also pooping out.

What's next? Pin the tail on the wheelchair?

And I thought the way my wrap skirts fall off was embarrassing

I took a "which presidential candidate should you support" quiz at GoToQuiz. No, I won't link to the quiz. I won't do it that much of a favor. I'm pissed off at it.

OK, I found it on Belinda's blog. If you want to take the quiz, stop by her place for the link. Tell her I said hello.

Or don't. Because I just found out I'm a pariah. It turns out that I, a card-carrying donation-making Democrat, do not support Hillary Clinton. (Well, of course I don't. Bitch is married to my boyfriend.) Hillary was in the number two spot, though. Guess who was number one?

No, not Barack O'Boyfriend.

John McCain. JOHN MCCAIN. Who is a REPUBLICAN.

I can't remember the last time I voted for a Republican. Actually, I don't think I ever have.

I have no idea how that happened. None. But I blame the quiz. Because the questions are all about "hot-button" issues. And hot-button issues don't really interest me.

Like immigration. My ancestors immigrated a long time ago, so even if there was some law-breaking going on at some point--even if old Isaac Stearns shaved a year off his apprenticeship and got the right to vote illegally--my nose is clean. I get grandfathered in. (Get it? Grandfathered?) So who am I to act high and mighty about the current crop of law-breakers?

Abortion? Look, if people would stop having sex all the time, there wouldn't be so many unwanted pregnancies. Honestly, what's with all the fucking? What are you, people, anyway--animals?

Health care? Hey, going to the doctor sucks no matter who's paying for it.

Iraq? Well, yes, what an international diplomacy love-fest that's been. But now that we're in up to our armpits, do I have a solution? No, I do not. And therefore, I think it's unfair for me to expect all those Presidential candidates (and really, who the hell are these guys, anyway?) to have one.

But John McCain? You know who supports John McCain?

MY MOTHER.