So many plates I need my weight in Alka-Seltzer

Yesterday That Stud Muffin I Married's cousin came by with her two adorable little girls. Also his aunt and stepfather. We sat and caught up, then went to lunch.

And after all the time I've spent waiting outside the Ice House to buy ice cream, I finally went inside to eat.




Where I discovered not only delicious clam rolls, but an eye-popping display of license plates. This made me feel, somehow, humbled. As I was so proud of some of my recent discoveries:

Clearly, being driven by the Cadillac of Bridal Wear Shoppe Owners

Here's someone who takes his state mottos seriously.

How to make it clear that you are New Hampshire's answer to Mr. Burns on The Simpsons.

Parked outside the local elementary school. Teacher? Librarian? Incredibly serious parent? Who knows?

You would never believe I'm on vacation

Because yes, I'm still in New Hampshire, but I have no pretty pictures for you. I'm too busy discovering the difference between renting and owning.

Renting means that if there are problems with the septic tank, they are someone else's. Owning means you are delighted to discover that you can actually buy Septic-Aid (or whatever it's called) on Amazon.com. I didn't really know much about septic tanks, and oh, Internet, I didn't want to. But now I've discovered that I can have it delivered in 24 hours--plenty of time for the millions and millions of bacteria to convert the contents of the septic tank into sweet-smelling yogurt, or whatever it is that these bacteria turn things into--before a bunch of guests arrive on Saturday.

See, I still don't know much about septic tanks, but I beleve someone has been flushing penicillin or some substance that septic tanks don't like, and now our toilets feel mournful and sluggish. And so I will be giving them the equivalent of a spoonful of Geritol, and you don't even know what that is, Internet, because you are too young.

I will never be as young as you are, Internet.

My sister's getting married on Saturday, did I forget to tell you? Well, it's right that this is coming as something of a surprise to you, Internet, because I just found out that I have to give some kind of luncheon on Saturday. Luckily for me a couple of local catering joints have what quaint elderly types like me call An On-Line Presence, so I can shop for caterers while I drink wine and try to decide whether I'm just imagining things about the toilet.

And now, to end on a more positive note, the Plat du Jour.

I took this picture while I was on my way to Sears to buy a new dryer, as the old one is acting even older than I am, and it's time to send it off to the Bide-A-Wee Rest Home for Discarded Appliances and install the hip young trophy dryer. Naturally, I was not in a good mood. Another time when I was feeling like a home owner, and not in a good way. But then! I saw this:

It's a Ford Cobra. And check out the plate!

I did really well not to rear end him while I was trying to get close enough to take the picture.

New semi-daily feature: the Plat du Jour

Did you know that EITHER New Hampshire OR Illinois has the highest per capita occurence of vanity license plates? You didn't?

Well, I order you to be grateful that I called your attention to this fascinating fact. And for your amusement or at least edification, I'm going to be posting pictures.

I call this new feature the Plat du Jour because I'm hilarious that way, what with the word play and the French and all.

And so ... voila. The first plate.



It's tuna.