The Answer to an Age-Old Question

That being, "Can you really ever have enough of lying around in your pajamas surfing the internet?"

Well, people, the answer is yes, indeed you can.

I've compared the cornucopia of widgets available for dressing up this blog; I've added all kinds of idiotic applications to my FaceBook page; I've even gotten around to joining last.fm.

I've explored the limitless possibilities of iGoogle and played probably two full hours of Tetris on my brand-spanking-new iGoogle page.

I've bugged all of you to be my friends on every social networking site known to man.

I was switching over from Bloglines to Google Reader when it finally hit me; the internet was acting like virtual cold medicine, and I was acting the way I do when I'm high on pseudoephedrine and start alphabetizing the spice rack.

It is time for a full recovery. Before all of you come over here and virtually TP my house.

And internet, I love you, but when you get all those emails asking you to be my friend on Yet Another Social Networking site? Feel free to tell me to fuck off.

I'll always have the internet

When you spend the day pretty much flat on your back, the internet quickly becomes your best friend. Today I:

1. drank a bunch of tea
2. posted my weekly Mamarazzi entry
3. spent an embarrassingly long time playing Scramble
4. tweaked my links list
5. updated my Bloglines subscriptions
6. begged Kerflop to include me in her links, which she agreed to do, because she is amazingly nice. ("Poppy who?")
7. Ate an orange, my favorite substitute for mid-winter sunshine
8. More tea! Then Twittered my fingers to the bone.
9. Twitter-hopped from one home page to another, playing the Twitter version of six degrees of Poppy Buxom.
10. Checked on the delivery status of my new computer.
11. Commented on a bunch of blogs.
12. Ate another orange.
13. Took a long, very hot bath and read in the tub
14. Went outside! Drove to pick up my VW Passat wagon that was at the dealer's getting a new wheel and four new tires, damn those potholes.
15. Driving involves sitting, and sitting hurts. Back to bed, where I read various on-line news journals, becoming better-informed than I've been since I spent hours every day driving around listening to All Things Considered* and the BBC World News** (and I'm sure my husband misses those days.)
16. Edited my MySpace profile to get rid of the photograph of me giving you the finger. Because I just (out of BOREDOM and MISPLACED LOYALTY and being FLAT ON MY BACK) joined a MySpace forum of Episcopalians, and I thought I'd break them in gently.
17. Ate Valentine's Day chocolate, my mid-winter, fully-dressed substitute for sex.
18. Ordered books on Amazon.
19. Wished my back would get better faster.
20. Checked on the delivery status of my new computer.
21. Dinner! Pizza night! And ensalata caprese, my mid-winter substitute for a full-on Roman orgy. Started to drink Turkey Flat red wine, and boy is it yummy.
22. Continued to drink wine. FUCK YOU, IT'S A MUSCLE RELAXANT.

And I'm still on the internet. You want my back to get better, don't you? So I won't be so boring?

ME TOO.

* This gets really old, what with the sound effects and the stories about environmental degradation and endangered species of pygmy fruitbats in some country I've never heard of. Not to mention the accents. JEBUS! I can't understand these people!
** This is like a drinking game with no drinking until you get home and get out of the car. Here's how it works: listen to BBC World and see how many countries get mentioned before the U.S. Big points and extra chugging if it's more than three.

I can only hope that my future daughter in law is as fabulous