Why I need to visit my friendly neighborhood optician

People, what with the not-letting-my-kids-flunk-out-of-school morass I've fallen into, I'm surprised I have time to read anything at all. Ever. But one moment recently, probably while I was sitting in my car waiting for a child, I fired up the email program on my iPhone.

Hooray! A comment on my blog!

Which I couldn't read. I kept tapping the screen trying to make it bigger, but no matter how big it was, it still looked like that thing where people visit a website, type something in, uʍop ǝpısdn suɹnʇ ƃuıʇıɹʍ ɹıǝɥʇ puɐ.

So I went home and checked my email on my laptop, and the writing wasn't upside down. It was Cyrillic.

This means two things. No, three:

1. If you don't blog for a while, people stop leaving comments, and when they do leave comments, they're in Russian.
2. Why do I spend what feels like the entire morning photoshopping Joe Jackson's hat and sunglasses onto a dog? So that people will head to Mamarazzi and comment. In Russian, if possible. Hey, it's a hobby. Other people knit--I troll for Russian comments.
   
3. I obviously need to get new glasses so I can tell upside-down writing from Cyrillic. But rest assured, I will not be going to Joe Jackson's optician.