S-A-TUR-DAY-NIGHT!

Saturday night was Chicago's 103rd annual Twelfth Night Masque. Lots of costumes, lots of skits mocking current events.

We went as judges. This is because we had already attained fame and fortune long ago--due to our touching reenactment of the William Kennedy Smith post-Au-Bar beach pas-de-deux. That's how long ago it was ... 1991.

So now we're judges. We're grown-ups. We get to decide who wins and who dies. Plus, in the Grand March, the smart people bribe the judges, so you get lots of loot. I got ten bucks. And an Obama sticker. And a pair of red plastic handcuffs.

Now I don't have to figure out what to give Mr. Buxom for Valentine's Day.

Then the skits started. There was one with Obama and Hillary doing the Time Warp and ending up with the original cast of Saturday Night Live--here are Steve Martin and Jane Curtin and her floor wax.


But because it was a time warp, Britney Spears showed up, too.

(He won Best Costume--Male.)

Then the other big skit. This also evoked a 1970s disco theme:


You have to love the Afro. And the guy dressed as a CHIPS outfit.


It was pointed out to me that this Elvis was a 1970s Elvis, and therefore was period-correct. Thank goodness for that, or I would have had to take points off. Here he's performing next to Monica Lewinsky.


Here Monica and Hillary smooch. Unfortunately my cell phone didn't capture the actual embrace. Honestly! How can I become a paparazzo without a decent camera??

Oh, and it was black tie. Want to see what I was wearing?

Shake it

Yesterday, in my ongoing quest for some relaxing down time, we went out for Thai food.

It was delicious. See how cleaned the plates are?

Also, notice the green stuff my husband was drinking? That's green tea bubble tea. He had never heard of bubble tea, so I explained the concept ("It's like drinking and eating at the same time!") and because this restaurant doesn't have a liquor license, he ordered it.

He actually did a pretty good job with it.

I ordered the mango version. Not very tea-like, and I was expecting tapioca that looked like tapioca, not dark, scary-looking, very bland berries.

And somehow I'll bet it was fattening. Way more fattening than "tea" is supposed to be.

Which brings me to today's rant. Have you noticed America's milkshake mania? Come on, restaurant owners, what's with the frappucinos and blizzards and smoothies and this mango bubble "tea" concoction--does everything have to be a milkshake? Big fattening creamy shakey drinks are everywhere these days. I'm waiting for someone to invent the Lemon Drop Martini Smoothie.

Dear dead Diana Vreeland would no doubt label the current zeitgeist a "Shake Quake!" And she, God bless her, would have the common sense to steer well away from it. The goddamned things probably contain 800 calories a teaspoon. Plus there's just no way they have enough caffeine.