Monday, May 02, 2005

She's a man, man!

Is it just me, or does Giselle Bundchen look like a trannie with 1) implants and 2) hair extensions?

I don't know which is weirder--RuPaul as a female supermodel. Or this.

Because while RuPaul started out life as a man--and then did an exemplary job of transforming himself into a woman--Miss Bundchen just looks freaky to me. And not in a good way.

Far be it from me to mock a woman for being six foot two inches tall. Far be it from me to scoff at some poor creature who was obviously standing in the wrong line when they were handing out hips. But to hold this specimen up as the height of female pulchritude seems really, really strange. I mean, she'd make kind of a cute boy--albeit a scrawny one sorely lacking in upper body development. But a woman?

Seriously, I could see a pedophile getting into her. In fact, he could point to his collection of Victoria's Secret catalogs as evidence that he really isn't into boys. Because honestly, all he'd have to do is cover up the part of the picture that shows the implants and voila--Michael Jackson's dream date.

Speaking of dates, supermodels are always claiming that they were freaks in high school and couldn't get a date. Well, imagine Exhibit G. over there, without the makeup, professionally done hair, flattering lighting, and pouty facial expression--the result of years of being told she's hot. Do you honestly think she could get a date for the prom?

Well, maybe with Michael Jackson. Although she's really too tall for him.

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xxx, Poppy.