Saturday, August 12, 2006

"Get your patchouli stink out of my house."

In a perfect world, a woman's1 husband and children could join her in beating the living crap out of her ageing hippy former-Hare-Krishna, vegetarian, Hindu, yoga-pose-doing-in-the-living-room mother-in-law.

What I'm imagining is a full-on Rodney King style beating, ending with the woman pulling a 10,000 BTU air conditioning unit out of the window and heaving it onto her mother-in-law's face.2

Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world.

However, she flies out tomorrow. So there's that.

1 I name no names.
2 Yes, I stole the whole scene from High Fidelity. Sue me.


  1. So it was that kind of visit.

  2. Just THAT kinda MiL, I'm guessing.


  3. There are no words.

    Seriously. None.

    But that won't stop me from doing my best. At some point in the not-too-distant future when she has gotten the FUCK out of here.

  4. So sorry, but at least she is giving you some fodder for a future book.


  5. On the plus side, you will return to Chicago a city finally freed from the menace of foie gras and the criminal element who perpetuate the foie gras cycle.


  6. I came Of Age (in my mind only - I was still very much under the clutches of the parental unit) when hippies were petering out, so to speak. I always found them to be a free-loading, disease-passing, idiotic-speech spewing lot. I mean, Really? Get a fucking job and try to be all Peace Love and Waterbeds.

    And whenever Hare Krishna's approached me, I loudly asked "Do YOU have any spare change? Please?" with my hand out, dropping their brochure in the process. They were fierce at the Denver airport for a long time. Then someone took a swing at one of them, and they went all un-monklike and it turned into a concourse-wide battle. That was the end of Hare Krishnas at the old airport, I do believe.

    I am assuming she did her own cooking at least? Possibly some babysitting? ANYTHING?!

    Deep breaths. It will give you more strength to do the A/C unit toss.

    And since I'm such a voyeur, I can't wait to read the tale. DO tell.

    WVW is blewjvpg "Blew junior varsity pig?"

  7. I feel for you.

    Thank goodness my MIL has not visited since Easter of 1997 LOL. And we only live 5 hours apart. I guess I made myself clear on the last visit LOL

    Surfing through from BE. You've got my vote. Simply because I think you deserve it ;)

  8. ew. I have been imagining patchouli stink all weekend because of you. Just ew.

  9. Ah, I love that scene from High Fidelity. Well-played! :)


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xxx, Poppy.