Tuesday, July 24, 2007

It's almost Blogher

Why am I not excited?

Let's make this a multiple-choice question, shall we?

1. A conference for people who have only two things in common (they are women who blog) seems pretty stupid. Unless you're making it about a smaller subset of humanity (albinos who play electric guitar) you're going to end up with a very amorphous, heterogeneous mass of people.

2. I never bought the idea that women bloggers are marginalized. Hell, there are so many idiotic blogs out there, anyone who punctuates correctly should feel marginalized. And I do.

3. The panels have impossibly vague titles. So now we're going to have a large, amorphous, heterogeneous mass of female bloggers going to panels called "Blogging the Body," and I don't know about you, but that sets off my bullshitometer.

4. The Blogher website sucks. The conference information is buried over in a sidebar. This leaves me feeling confused and resentful. ("I gave these idiots money?") On the other hand, I have a good sense of humor, so I find the idea that someone running a website that shitty has the nerve to claim any kind of internet expertise so hilarious that I want to hang around and make sarcastic remarks about them. Although I don't want to hang out with them, especially when I'm sober. Speaking of which:

5. Breakfast and lunch are mentioned, but where's the alcohol?

6. All of the above.

On the bright side, I know I'm going to be hanging out with Blackbird, Susie Sunshine, and Jen Lancaster. But I don't need Blogher for that. I could hang out with them anyway. I don't need a reason to drink and blab with my friends. "The earth revolves around the sun" works just fine.


  1. Dear Madam Punctuation,

    You have made a typo.

    Your puerile and impertinent pal,


  2. P.S. As a Y-Chromosomed sort, when I made similar comments about BlogHer last year I was subjected to vile abuse. So thanks for doing my work for me, and shielding me from debris. MWAH.

  3. Dear Mister Doth Gave Suck,*

    I am flattered that you bother to read my blog at all, let alone alert me to the presence of typos.

    I will now ask my seeing eye dog to find it and fix it for me.

    Eternally grateful,
    Helen Keller

    *Private joke included by the seeing eye dog.

  4. ahahahahahahah. This is exactly how I feel about Technical conferences that I get invited to!

    (To which I get invited?)

  5. Drinking should commence sometime around noon, conference attendance is optional, and I WILL NOT BE BLOGGING MY BODY.

  6. I wish I could be there just for the drinking and the gossiping with four of my favorite bloggers.

    I don't need no stinkin' conference! Just the $$ to afford the trip, unfortunately.

    (Hint for the seeing-eye dog: it's in the label...)

  7. "anyone who punctuates correctly should feel marginalized."

    Ain't that the truth?

  8. So are all the bloggers going to go to the conference and then blog about going to the conference? And then will the bloggers blog about other bloggers blogging about the conference? Will it be a Rashomon for bloggers?

    I'm so confused...

  9. Hotfessional: Hey, at least you're getting paid. I'm doing this for fun. (What's wrong with me?)

    blackbird: Don't worry; I'll blog your body for you. We all will.

    Suzanne: Good eye! And I'm very pleased that I spelled bullshitometer correctly.

    Diesel: Yeah, well ... you don't hear me saying anything about spelling, K? Or typos.

    echo: All of the above, plus we'll be live-blogging during the whole thing. I plan to wear my 17-inch laptop around my neck to keep it handy. I'll tell everyone it's body armor designed to protect me from my rabid fans.

  10. I am so envious! I am seriously thinking about having a *conference* here in the Southwest for lady bloggers who, like me, live too far to drive to Blogher and could not be dragged onto a plane to save her own life. We would dispense with the pretense of *lectures* and *workshops* and get right down to the nitty-gritty of blogging; how to survive in the real world and still not turn into certifiable nut cases... or alcoholics. Although I am waffling on the latter...

  11. Here via blogexplosion.

    I have to say that #5 says it all, doesn't it?

    Have a great time!

    Have a great weekend!
    My Blog

  12. yoo.. interesting post..


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xxx, Poppy.