Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Today found me, at various times:

wide awake at 6:00 in the morning.

stuck in traffic.

singing "Santa Baby" to the Karaoke version on my iPod.

dressed in black, with a full face of makeup and tons of bling, singing "Santa Baby" to the mirrors in my apartment.

wearing a corsage and singing "Santa Baby" to a room full of middle-aged and elderly women.

listening to my daughter explain why it's my fault she forgot to bring her lunch to school.

driving in a blizzard.

walking out of Home Depot wearing a red wool coat with a black fox collar, black kid gloves, and a toilet lid on my head.

listening to my daughter sob and complain that her teachers are wasting her time.

taking my son to his cello lesson.

taking both my kids to their karate class.

listening to my daughter sob because she walked under the rear door of my minivan just as it was closing and got hit on the head.

begging my children for french fries.

using up my very last drop of patience dealing with my daughter's hysterics; this time over the difficulty of her homework.

drinking wine.


  1. Daughter sounds like mine when she was on the verge of leaving that pre-pubescent time in her life for full blown pube... well.. that wasn't going to sound right at ALL but you get my drift. It's almost nonstop theatrics at that point. She just got done screaming at dad to "Just LEAVE ME ALONE I CAN'T THINK WHEN YOU KEEP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS!!!" And all the poor guy did was ask twice if she finished her homework... because she couldn't be bothered to answer him the first time he asked. And she just paid for it by losing her cell phone for the rest of the week. Her response to that was a very mature "I DON'T CAAAAAAAAARE!!!" And his was a very mature "I will MAKE YOU CARE..." sheesh.. remind me which one the child is please...

  2. I did that rear door of the minivan thing to my daughter and didn't realize how much it hurt until the next week, when it happened to me. And, yes, I did it to myself. I don't know how.

    Have fun with your daughter. It just gets worse.

  3. I think I may have to do this as a meme.
    Or a mime.

  4. Dude. If the arranged marriage with Joke's kid falls through, have I got a potential son-in-law for YOU. Seriously, I think your girl and my boy are soulmates or something. I can't figure out if it's an Aspie thing or just the age or what.

    Oh, and if they do get hitched, they'll be living with YOU. Hope that's okay.

  5. Oh dear. I think the high point involved the corsage and the old ladies. Or maybe drinking wine. I bet that's when you felt the most relief.

  6. flutterby: I feel you. In fact, I think I AM you.

    suburbanc: I whacked my own head with the van door a couple of weeks ago, so I know exactly how it felt. But I did tell her "watch out for the door!" and she walked into it ANYWAY. And it was STILL my fault.

    bb: I can totally see you in white face, pretending to be stuck in an invisible box.

    badge: Sounds good! Because Popette is about a foot taller than NOS at this point. Is Boy Child at least 5' 1"? More important, does he know how to shovel snow? Heh heh heh.

    melissa: The wine was pretty excellent, but I have to admit a certain fondness for the dressed-to-the-nines-with-a-toilet-seat-for-a-hat part.

  7. It's all your fault. Always. Even the starving children in Africa and the war in the Middle East. All because of you. That's just part of motherhood.

  8. "All your fault" LOL. My oldest, who is now almost 27, pulled that on me the first time when he was just 3 years old. We were walking out across a parking lot, he was watching some guy work on a car and not paying attention, and tripped over his own feet. He got up screaming "YOU MADE ME DO IT!!" I was at least 10 feet away from him at the time. But of course it was my fault.


Gentle Readers:

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xxx, Poppy.