Monday, June 02, 2008

It's nothing personal--I'm just a honky.

Dear Shithead,

Before you completely overreact, you should know something.

When I honk my car horn, there's a good chance that I'm not talking to you.

Well, I mean, if you're doing something dangerous or incredibly stupid, I might mean you. But you shouldn't automatically assume that I do.

And so, lady who was picking up her high-school-aged son this afternoon, when I honked my horn, it was to communicate with the other lumpish dolt of teenaged boy (the one you did not spawn and were not picking up) who had stationed himself at the end of my driveway, and who was wearing headphones.

Which meant that he might have been listening to music. And might not hear me start my engine and start backing out of my driveway.

So just to forestall any possible decision on his part to step into the path of my car--since he had his back to me--I thought I would advise him of my presence.

So I tapped the horn.

So you see, it was not road rage on my part. I wasn't angry, and it wasn't about you. Until you started leaning on your horn. At that point, my decision to gun my engine and take off after you may or may have not been affected by your behavior. Since you took the first right hand turn and I kept going straight, we'll never know, will we?

Fuck you,
Poppy who is UP TO HERE with the high school traffic


  1. Poppy, who apparently lives in close proximity to the high school?

    My kids can't hear half of what I'm saying (which is still A LOT) - they're plugged into those pods ALL THE TIME.

  2. At least you weren't honking your horn at a sweet little old lady yesterday. Then again, said sweet little old lady was about to change lanes with her big ol' Buick and would have totally shoved me off the road, so I felt it was justified.

    What was not justified was the sweet little old yelling at me AND making a common hand gesture. So so then I felt justified to reply with an ugly face and possibly use a really ugly word that might or might not have started with the letter F.

    Oh yeah, it was one of THOSE days.

  3. Well, obviously, you were supposed to run down the doltish boy wearing headphones not spawned by the gentlewoman in the other car.

  4. I know--how remiss of me! Next time I'll make sure to run over every teenager on the block.

  5. Here.

    118dB. One-eighteen.

    Next time, she'll be in the grip of what doctors call "parasympathetic rebound" to do much of anything to annoy you. and the teenaged lout on your driveway will be waiting for firemen to come by with an extension ladder and get him down from the nearest tree.


  6. Don't Get Mad Get Even - The Fine Art of Revengemanship available in paperback by Jane/Eyre (author) Desperately Seeking Retribution?

  7. Its probably a good thing we are on different sides of the globe. Your honkiness and my fondness for winding down the window and executing a hand gesture would not combine well....


Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.