Sunday, September 28, 2008

I'd rate this entry M for "Mature Audiences"

except it's so obviously the product of an extremely immature person.

OK, this is dumb.

But sometimes when I'm bored, or I'm looking for a blog post idea (because I'm a member of Blog365 who has blogged every damned day since January 4th, and sometimes I'm kind of hard up for something to say) I go to a search engine or Amazon or YouTube and type something in--not just to see what I'm supposedly searching for, but the things that are kinda sorta related to what I'm looking for.

It's a sort of six degrees of separation, based, I suppose, on an algorithm that tracks what other people have searched for. So for example, a search for "peace signs" might eventually bring me to a biography of Winston Churchill.

Anyway, tonight I went to YouTube. Where I often find the most amazing things.

My latest YouTube thing is how-to videos. I discovered a link to one on a shopping blog--I clicked on the link, and the next thing I knew, I was watching a video of a woman demonstrating how to get the effect of the latest MAC makeup collection by using what she already had.

I watched this with a sort of amused fascination. I love makeup, and my first on-line community was a bunch of makeup freaks, so I certainly know a lot of women who are even more obsessed with makeup than I am. But we are amateur accumulators rather than quasi-professional makeup collectors or makeup artist wannabes.

I mean, uploading a video of yourself putting on makeup? Who knew anyone did this? And this woman was positively plastering herself with eyeshadow--and seemed very pleased with the effect, even though she ended up looking like a Manga character.

So anyway. Enough with the rambling self-justifications.

Tonight I went to YouTube and typed in "how to walk in high heels."

Well. You wouldn't believe the number of hits. And not just from trannies and fetishists, which of course, you'd expect to see. (There were plenty of them.)

But there were a surprising number of perfectly serious videos that purported to actually teach women how to walk in heels. What's next, how to put on a bra? How to brush your teeth?

And there were videos by people trying to teach fitness classes for women wearing high-heeled shoes. Which I guess would be strippers who need to get back in shape after too many evenings spent swilling "champagne cocktails."

But there were also sub-genres of film-making that I never knew existed. A reasonably sophisticated person could predict the existence of stiletto-wearing women fetish films. And we've all heard of snuff films, right?

But did you know there were snuff films for cell phones that feature stiletto-wearing women?

They seem to be very popular in Germany.

Silly Germans! I hate my cell phone, too, but when I get mad at it, I just let the battery run down until it dies.

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xxx, Poppy.