Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Charlie Tamara Elvis Parton? Or, it must be a Mamarazzi day

I'll admit it right off the bat: I'd never heard of Rebecca what's her face and Jerry O'What's-his-name.

I guess this is because I've never watched Ugly Betty.

But did that stop me from making fun of them on Mamarazzi? Of course not!

So tell me. Do you think when they join the Screen Actors Guild, future stars (whom I've never heard of) have to sign a contract, in blood, that should they spawn, their offspawn will be assigned completely stupid names?

I mean, sure it sounds far-fetched. But it's the only answer that makes sense.


  1. Its not that bad - It could have been Moses or Apple or Coco. Then I would have been rolling out loud. Nah Charlie/Dolly are different. Nothing too crazy

  2. I think Charlie Tulip sounds awfully close to "Charlie Tuna".

    Am I dating myself with this reference?

  3. ...to let you know how much of a geek I am, I thought maybe you were trying to get us to figure out that Charlie Rose did something.

    I think you might have something there concerning the SAG.


  4. I'm just shocked you've never heard of either of them. You do know Rebecca was married to John Stamos, right?

    And I miss Jerry - Yummy. I first found him on Sliders, and then rediscovered him as the bumbling but lovable Woody on Crossing Jordan. Double Yummy.

    I like your SAG theory. It explains sooo much! :)

  5. Those names are bad, no question about it, but Gwen Stefani and Ashlee Simpson still get my vote for worst baby names ever.

  6. I've never watched Ugly Betty, but I know who the chick is that plays her, and she's quite charming actually. However, I think it would have been much better if they had cast someone who IS truly ugly. Give all the plainfaced overweight etc. actors a chance at a career rather than having Rene Zell and Charlize Theron play them!

  7. Skywalker: I guess what with the judgey-judgmental nature of this blog, some balance was needed. So thanks. I guess.

    Kristin: Not at all! Then again, I'm old, so what do I know?

    Sneakahs: Charlie Rose? Another person I've sort of barely heard of. And then only because a friend of mine was a guest on his show once.

    bdaiss: If I confess that I've never heard of John Stamos, are you going to move into a hotel and call your lawyer, i.e., divorce me and my blog? OK, then skip it.

    Jen on the Edge: Oh, there are far worse. I just felt like being mean.

    Deborah Grodin: Oh, I know. What about the time they cast Michelle Pfeiffer as a supposedly-plain waitress in that movie whose name I can't remember. What a joke! (No wonder I can't remember the name.)

  8. If they want to call her "Charlie," could they at least make her given name be "Charlotte" or something where Charlie is a nickname so when she's an adult, she has the option of an adult name?

  9. Well at least the middle names are normal.

  10. class-factotum: EXACTLY. What is this thing with naming people Jack and Sally and Charlie? Have people completely forgotten what "nickname" means? Name them John and Sarah and Charles (or Charlotte) and then let them call themselves what they want. But sheesh, give them the option of have a serious name.

    Who wants to be a 67-year-old female Charlie?

    Flutterby: You are being WAY too open-minded about it. Come snark with me!

  11. Wellll... considering the vast opportunity for continued 100% snark, 2/3s of a snark is still not bad, lol. (that comes from my twisted logic that there are 3 names each there open for comment... and two of them are totally snark-worthy, lol) It just seems like they couldn't *quite* pull the trigger and join the "100% Stupid Celebrity Baby Names" club. They were trying too hard to make EVERYONE happy.

  12. I absolutely agree that if you want to call your little girls Charlie and Dolly, you should name them Charlotte and Dorthea(or Dorthey). That way when they are middle aged or elderly ladies they won't be stuck with these stupid nickname names. Oh well Zowie Bowie showed his parents what kids do when they get stuck with stupid names(go Joey!!!)


  13. ok, so i ran across your blog and thought this post was funny - i think they pick names just to be different. at least it's not genitalia or latherrinserepeat (that's my brother's favorite joke) - i don't think people are going far enough for you with jerry o'connell though, did you ever see the movie Stand By Me? he was the fat kid. i really can't remember what else she's done except being married to the guy everyone thought was hot on full house. love that you're snarty - i'll at least be stalking occasionally :)


Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.