Thursday, April 02, 2009

My dreams of a career in telemarketing are as ashes in my mouth

OMG, you guys, I. am. such. a. loser.

Know what I've been doing for the past week? Not just driving to New Hampshire and back

and eating lobster,

although that's a factor. Not just doing the mountains of laundry that erupted from the suitcases when I unpacked them.

Not just attending rehearsals of the eighth grade play

or ruthlessly purging old books and toys from my son's room

or inventorying the snowdrops in my yard.

I've been calling up members of a woman's organization and asking them to serve on the board. And unfortunately for the woman's organization, doing a rotten job.

I can't get anyone to say yes. ANYONE. I feel like a short, scrawny, acne-ridden high school geek who has--despite his taped-together glasses and pocket protector--decided to ask every single member of the cheerleading squad to the prom.

I'm drowning in rejection over here.


(Also, why do I have to spend so much time on the phone with people who are going to tell me no? Can't they at least keep it short?)


  1. I feel ya...I used to chair a church committee and getting people to volunteer was like pulling teeth! And it was mostly old people I was calling - they A) wanted to talk my darned ear off about how I could be doing a better job and 2) how can retired people be too busy to spend an hour on something?!? GAH.

    But I digress. Hope someone says yes to you soon...maybe instead of asking for a huge committment (or what sounds like a huge committment) you can break it down and ask for volunteers to do very specific things?

  2. Ehh, blow everything off a bit longer and go back to those spirit-lifting flowers...

  3. Poppy, you haven't called me yet. I'm home next week and I am the one who always (ALWAYS) says yes. So says the former GS troop leader, cookie mom, choir mom, church everything mom, PTA mom. I had to get a job to get out of the volunteer gig.

    Call me. I'm available.

  4. It's a bummer for sure. The good news is they won't ask you to do it again. :-) They only asked me once at our old school to call people for the annual fund.

    And did you really have dreams as a telemarketer? If you did or did not, you should read Nature Girl by Carl Hiaasen. It's about the ultimate revenge on a telemarketer. But I digress, which is much of my problem.....

  5. I totally feel for you! I had to do that during college when I was on the Student Activities Council. The ones that pissed me off the most were the ones that would ask all these questions and then go, "No thanks. I was just curious."

    I still hate those people.

    If i weren't so lazy, I would totally hunt them down and suck an hour of their life away that they will never get back. (or probably just TP their yard...)

  6. Oh Dude. If I really lived in Chicago, instead of just for 1/2 my life - and you called me, I'd say yes.

    I really would.

    If only just to convince you to meet me for a drink.

    Okay, I'd bribe you into it.

  7. I have tried to volunteer at the old folks' home by my house and at church. I can't get anyone to call me back. I guess things are going really, really well and they don't need any help.

    So I'll just watch "What Not To Wear" instead. I'm OK with that.


Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.