Hey, I'm not one of those mommybloggers who can't seem to stop whining about teensy-tiny imaginary problems. I'm not all "Wanh-wanh, I have a hangnail!"
Or "Shit! Taking care of babies is really hard! And kind of boring! Nobody ever told me that! It's not fair!"
Not me, I suck it up.
So I'm not complaining--exactly--when I mention that for some reason, I dreamed up some nifty inventions today--inventions that will take the world by storm. Or would, if I actually had the engineering skills to actually make them.
Seriously, they're that good. And so, for the better good, I'll act like a newspaper and give my ideas away for free on the internet.
(That way I can go around telling people I'm as intelligent as The New York Times.)
OK, here goes:
1. Individual clear Astrodome-style roofs for yards. This would be perfect for keeping any and all precipitation off my yard when I want to be outside. Just think--no more spoiled Memorial Day cookouts!
Oh, and hey, while you're at it, the same thing except bigger for country clubs, historic houses, and mansions. Wouldn't it be nice to know that you can celebrate your wedding or your kid's graduation without worrying about rain? Of course it would. See? Genius.
2. A muffler for my blow-dryer. Rock concerts and earbuds are getting a bad rap. They aren't what's destroying my hearing: the 20 pound screaming behemoth that dries my hair is the culprit. Come on, if we can muffle a car, we can shush a Conair.
3. Some robot arms to help with blow-drying would be nice, too. Am I right?
4. OK, I saved the best for last. Honestly, I'll give up inventions 1-3 for this one: a mute button for my kids.