Thursday, July 23, 2009

Count down to BlogHer: the cardiac arrest edition

It's not what you think. I'm not sitting here sweating bullets over what I'm going to wear and how I'm going to look.

Yo, mommybloggers, pick up the clue phone, it's for you: Poppy Buxom is thirty pounds heavier and 20 years older than you expect. Also, she dresses like shit. If our BlogHer fashion sense is being graded, I just bumped you a couple of notches up the bell curve. YOU'RE WELCOME.

So it's not clothes. This is what's getting my granny panties in a wad:

1. I'm getting a new sliding shower door installed in the hall bathroom. When? Tomorrow, first thing in the a.m. Why? Because Mr. Buxom accidentally broke one of the two halves. When? In 2007. So why has it taken me two years to get it fixed, and why is it happening at the ulta-last minute?

Because I'm an asshole, that's why. (What can I say; my kids take baths, not showers.)

2. The bartender for my super-exclusive BlogHer cocktail party (Hey! You're invited!) called me tonight to confirm. For Friday night. But! The party is on Saturday.

3. So far, I've forgotten to order food for the party. Whoops! The good news is I already ordered and paid for the booze. Which is being delivered tomorrow, probably while I'm dealing with the shower door guy.

4. I can't find the key that gets me to and from the basement in my building, which where the laundry room is located. So I'm digging through everything I own looking for the keys so everyone doesn't have to sleep, through lack of clean sheets, in my kids' ancient Buzz Lightyear sleeping bags.

5. Did I mention that I have four guests staying with me? Blackbird, Martha MacGyver, SarahO, and Susie Sunshine will be camping out chez Buxom.

6. Yes, I bought ear plugs.

The good news is we have lots of toilet paper. Also, I managed to post my BeautyHacks post, which means tomorrow, at the BlogHer CE party, I'm going to swan around feeling incredibly fashionable and smug. Even though everyone else will be wearing a darling little cocktail dress, and I'll be wearing a Buzz Lightyear sleeping bag.

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.