30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 30: Play

Clothing is functional.














Style is fun.













Skin care is grooming.

Makeup is a magic carpet.

Your "real" jewelry tells the world who you are.

Costume jewelry is just that. A costume.

And nobody really needs a pair of purple satin gloves.

You don't need to pay attention to fashion. But why would you deny yourself this chance at self-expression, this chance to create, this pleasure?

Clothes and makeup are Legos and finger paint for grown-ups.

I want you to play.

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 29: Use your rear-view mirror

Would somebody please explain how I managed to grow up believing that butts didn't matter? I swear nobody noticed them much in the 60s, 70s, or 80s. We didn't want them to stick out-- it would ruin the line of our dresses or skirts. It wouldn't be ladylike. Those were halcyon days for the booty-less. Butts simply weren't all that important.

Then J-Lo reached puberty, "Baby Got Back" was released, and I developed a brand new thing to be insecure about. (At the age of 36, for heaven's sake.)

Well guess what? Aging hasn't helped my situation. Naturally, an aging butt gets less perky--doesn't everything?--but squats take care of that. No, the problem is the way our body weight shifts around.

Basically, as our estrogen supplies dip, women start to put weight on in the places where men get heavy. We start to store more fat in the belly and arms, and we lose volume in the areas women traditionally store fat: the hips, thighs and buttocks.

And this means that a surprising number of middle-aged women are walking around with elephant butt.

I don't have the recipe for acquiring ripe, round buttocks. I didn't know how to do it when I was in my 20s, so you know I can't help now.

But I do know that a lot of women aren't checking out the rear view when they get dressed. And they should. There are an awful lot of scrawny butts walking around.

Basically, there's lean, and then there's dessicated. De-sexed. Let's face it: a hollow-cheeked look isn't attractive--not even when it's behind you.

Here's what helps my rear view:

• I wear jeans with 1 to 2 percent Spandex in a tight weave.
• I wear a pair of jeans once, launder them, or at least hang them up and rest them before I wear them a second time. A lot of experts will advise you to lengthen the life of your designer jeans by wearing them many times without washing them. Hahahahahaha! No. That way lies elephant butt.
• If I notice that a new pair of jeans droops before lunchtime, they go on my naughty list. Right now Christopher Blue is at the top of my naughty list. On the other hand, I'm liking Not Your Daughter's Jeans.

Not My Butt modeling Not Your Daughter's Jeans

• When it comes to fit, I compromise. If my jeans zip easily and completely disguise my tummy, they'll be falling off my butt by lunchtime. So I go a size down to get the right fit through the butt, then disguise my tummy the best I can.

I admit that I'm not exactly a fount of ideas for enhancing one's rear view, so your comments and suggestions would be especially appreciated this time. Please? (I'm begging here.)

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 28: Move on

I've been doing the internet beauty thing for a long time, and one thing remains constant; people always find a way to whine about their favorite products being discontinued.

Sometimes a company pulls a line before giving it enough time to find its market segment. Firefly and Dollhouse fans have nothing on the women I know who keened, wailed, and gnashed their teeth when Oil of Olay decided to pull their line of drugstore makeup.

I'm going to sound like Pollyanna here, but honestly, things change incredibly quickly in the realm of cosmetics and skincare. If you take the time to remain informed about what's out there, you'll realize that formulations change. And it's not just due to business reasons. And a lot of the time, a new and improved formula actually is an improvement.

I urge you not to stockpile huge amounts of a favorite product. One of my invisible internet friends did just that with Oil of Olay's discontinued powder foundation. She was convinced that it was the perfect color match and the perfect consistency for her skin. But long before she had depleted her stockpile, fashion and her skin had moved on. What had once seemed perfect now appeared too heavy and matte.

That's because the finish and consistency of makeup changes as fashions change. The foundation that worked perfectly for you in 2003 might be way too matte and too opaque now that sheerer, light-diffusing formulas are in style.

If you're reaching the end of a product that you like, don't automatically repurchase the same thing. Do a little research to see what's new.

For example, there's an exciting-sounding partnership between CoverGirl and Olay that combines the color expertise of CoverGirl with the anti-aging formulas of Oil of Olay.

And I just discovered the world's most amazing foundation (for real, and don't let the other nine tubes and bottles in my bathroom tell you any different) by buying a ridiculous iPod train case from Stila. Stila's One Step foundation is primer, foundation, powder, true love, and fresh-baked cookies in one easy to use pump bottle. A tiny pea-sized bit of this miracle product erases my circles and broken capillaries and leaves me poreless and glowing.

And I'd never know about it if I'd been on auto-pilot and repurchased my third tube of Estee Lauder tinted moisturizer. So do your skin a favor and branch out. If you're wearing a foundation that's been out for 10 years or more, you really owe it to yourself to try something new. You won't believe the difference in the new stuff.

Elsewhere:

To see The Beauty Alchemist's review of Stila One Step foundation, click here.

To see About.com's Top Five Foundations for Women Over 40 click here

For more suggested foundations for mature skin on About.com, click here

If you haven't joined MakeupAlley, I urge you to do so.

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 27: The legs are the last to go, and other stories

So often the story of aging is the story of irretrievable, irredeemable loss. A woman reaches the age of 38 and bam! She gives up. Because what's the point? Why bother to keep trying? An 18-year-old in a t-shirt and jeans looks better.

And maybe that's true. (Although a lot depends on the 18-year-old.)

But here's the deal. If you've had a good feature--and you have, even if it's your left elbow--then chances are advancing years have not eradicated every vestige of its loveliness.

I know I'm right. Here's how: I advise you to "shorten your skirts" and some of you reply "No way! My miniskirt days are long gone." But others of you say "Absolutely! Life is short and so are my skirts." We may not what we used to be--but we still remain just a little bit cocky about our good points.

And why not? Is it crazy to suppose that some of us have good legs? Seriously good legs, even though we're 40 or 50 or 60? Why not? Have you ever seen Diane Von Furstenburg's legs? They're epic.

Photo courtesy of The Catwalk Queen

So let's get this straight. I'm not saying we should revert to a wardrobe of tube tops and shorts shorts. I'm not saying we should buy all our clothes at Forever XXI, our accessories at Claire's, paint our fingernails dark glittery purple, Manic Panic our hair, only wear makeup colors outside the realm of nature, or cover ourselves with tattoos and piercings.

I am saying that if you had good legs in your 20s, chances are you still do. If you had great hair in your 20s, chances are you still have better hair than the other women your age. If you had pretty hands, what the hell--have some fun with your nail polish.

Me modeling O.P.I.'s Ink

Your assets don't evaporate when you turn 40. Aging and childbirth have done a number on my figure, but I have good hair. I've always had good hair and with luck, I'll always have it. I'll go strand-to-strand against any other woman my age.

Sure I'm jealous of my mother-in-law and the stretchy little undergarments she calls bras. It ought to be against the law for a grandmother to be that perky. But I don't let it give me the mean reds. When I feel envious, I toss my hair around, flounce out of the room, and head into my bathroom to inventory my nail polish collection.

As the French philosopher said, Mesdames, cultivez vos vernis! Cultivate your nail polishes. Or whatever your assets are.

They're still there, ready to be enjoyed. So go ahead and flaunt them.

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 26: Bags are the new shoes

I've been reading the fashion press long enough to realize that about every month or so, I'm going to run into yet another essay about women and their shoes.

So I'm not going to bore or insult you with rehashing the same old points--at least, not at length. Yes, women love shoes. Yes, they're easy to shop for. Yes, you can gain or lose a bunch of weight and they'll still fit.

But here's something else to think about.

If your feet are easy to fit and cooperative, you can go to town with shoes. My 87-year-old mother wears some of the wildest heels you've ever seen. You'll see her at a New Year's Eve party wearing turquoise patent leather sandals with four-inch heels. I love that she wears them, and I pray God I inherited her feet. They're working fine--she has a healthy arch, and no diabetes, bunions or other problems.

But if I don't end up with my mother's feet, I have my strategy all worked out. Because what else is easy to shop for, comes in all kinds of styles, updates an outfit like nobody's business, and works no matter if you've gained or lost 20 pounds? Bags.

Lately I've been a little obsessed with cross body bags. I carried them in the 1980s and early 1990s and loved them. So now that they're back in style, I've been looking for a luggage-colored leather cross body bag. Not too formal. Sort of satchel-ly. To sit right at my hip, with an outside pocket or two at hand for me to flip open so I can grab what I need.

Say hello to my little friend

I found it on the Top Shop website. It's $65.00. It's not leather, but so what? I'll tell everyone it's vegan. I think--I hope--it'll be insanely practical. And it will update everything I wear.

My point? Shoes aren't the only accessories that can update your wardrobe in an angst and Spanx-free manner. So think about it. We all carry a bag--is yours lackluster or dated? I'm not saying you have to rush out and buy the latest "it" bag, but if you're in the market for a new one, why not get one that's on-trend?

Shoe image courtesy of Amanda Clark

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 25: Break some rules

I pulled myself out of a huge style rut when I realized what bothered me about Lucky magazine.

It wasn't the non-stop shopping they were advocating. OK, I'm not as shopping-crazed as their editorial staff, but who is? And I'm a big girl. I can deal with consumer-overload.

No, I resented Lucky because it made me feel old and out of it. I didn't "get" the outfits. I thought they were idiotic-looking.

The thing is, the people at Lucky break every rule I ever learned. And if you're as old as I am, you're old enough to have learned a lot of fashion rules. Remember matching shoes and pocketbooks? Or no patent leather during the winter?

Well, guess what? Young women don't know these rules. And if they do, they break them.

Following the rules is correct. It's tasteful. But it's going to date you. Here you are, fussing because you're in a rush and you have to carry a tan messenger bag with your black sandals. As far as a 20-something is concerned, you might as well be refusing to leave the house without your hat and gloves.

It's time to get ready to break some rules. So let's go all Diana Vreeland for once ... why don't you ...

mix brown and black?

Kasmira of What I Wore Today

or navy and black?

Kasmira @ What I Wore Today

Wear white shoes before Memorial Day?

Image from Laura J. London Loves Shoes

Wear a "Texas tuxedo?"

Image @ Coutorture

Or tights with open toed shoes?

Image courtesy of Amy Salinger @ Sassnstyle

Socks with sandals?

Fashionable People, Questionable Things

Metallics during the day?

from StyleHits 101

Sequins and metallics during the day?

Nubby of Nubbytwiglet

or a three-inch bright green rhinestone half-gecko, half-giraffe brooch?

while you write an entry for your blog?

(I actually don't have the half-giraffe/half-gecko pin. But I have the black rhinestone octopus bracelet. And I'm wearing it right now. With jeans. Because I'm a rebel.)

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 24: Stay hydrated

And I'm not talking about that ridiculous canard about drinking eight glasses of water a day.

I'm talking about applying water externally.

When you drench your skin in water, it plumps up and look gorgeous. Think about the way you look when you walk out of a steam bath--rosy and glowing and smooth.

This happens because the outer layer of the skin--the statum corneum--is designed to absorb water. Get enough water into it and your skin will look younger and fresher--temporarily. The trick is to lock the moisture into the skin.

That's what moisturizers are for. Pretty much all moisturizers are emulsions of oil in water (the light ones) or water in oil (the super heavy ones like Eucerin.) They also tend to contain various waxes. The oils and waxes are there to create a barrier. They keep the moisture from evaporating from the stratum cornea. Without them, the evaporation will start within seconds of leaving the bath or shower.

If you've ever had a pedicure at a really top-end salon, and a pedicure at an inexpensive walk-in salon, you'll notice that the overall procedure is pretty much the same. The main difference is that expensive salons soak your feet for a long time. They don't start working on your calluses until your feet have been immersed in water for 15 minutes. The time in the water moisturizes your skin and softens your cuticles and calluses. Walk-in nail salons are fine--I'm not knocking them; I use them all the time--but they're like a fast-food restaurant. Their goal is to get you in and out of the chair as quickly as possible, so they skimp on hydration.

As often as possible, I'd like you to treat your face as though you were an operator in a luxury salon. When I have the time, after massaging in my cleanser, I rinse my face at least 20 times with handfuls of warm water. I can really see the difference when I towel dry--the skin on my face is plumped up and dewy. Then I seal in all that water with my regular moisturizer.

I do the same when I bathe. As soon as I get out of the water, I blot myself dry, then immediately massage in a rich lotion.


Or sometimes I have a cabana boy do it for me.

When my skin is really thirsty, I use a mask. I don't use anything heavy or complicated; I use pure aloe vera gel. If you've never tried it, you've got to try it. Run out and buy a tube. It's dirt cheap, and it's wonderful--water's leap towards immortality. (Either that, or it's what would happen if mineral water and Jell-O got married and had a baby.)

At any rate, I cleanse, apply the aloe vera gel, rest for 10 minutes, then wipe off the remainder with a damp washcloth. Then I ... wait for it ... seal in all that wonderful hydration with moisturizer.

Frankly, in this politically-correct age of diet police, fitness fanatics, and everyone being all PETA about the way we get fois gras, it feels good to force-feed something--even if it's just stuffing my skin cells with water!

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 23: Send in the clones

Every time I try to rejuvenate my look, I run into a problem that can end up paralyzing me. And paralysis = not making changes = right back where I started.

The problem is fear of dressing too young. And it manifests itself not by the time-honored query "does this dress make me look fat?" but "is this too young for me?"

If this has never crossed your mind, you're dressing too conservatively. If you want to look and feel young, you're going to have to take some risks. Sure you can stay safe and secure in your cashmere twin sets and gray flannel trousers. You won't offend anyone. But you'll be dressing like an old lady. I say put down the Talbots catalog and live a little.



The question is how young can you go? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you can easily dress 10 to 15 years younger than your chronological age. Not only will nobody be offended, they'll think you're stylish as hell.

Now, the question is, what's the easiest way of dressing 10 to 15 years younger? Easy. Find a celebrity whose style you admire and copy her.



I'd love to pretend to be a style guru like many of the bloggers I read, but I'm really more of a makeup and skin care person. When it comes to clothes, I've been examining, dissecting, and stealing the brainy style ideas of other, better-dressed women since I was a sophomore in high school.


So pick a celebrity who's the right age--10 to 15 years younger--and use her as your style guru. I don't mean run out and buy what she buys; nobody can afford that except another celebrity. But examine her outfits and incorporate aspects of her style into your own.

Say hello to Jennifer, my celebrity style crush. Now, I don't look like her at all. I lack her golden tan, blonde hair, banging bod and hunky ex-husband. But her simple, pared down style really appeals to me. I admire and respect celebrities like Chloe Sevigny and Bjork, but they're too extreme for me. Jennifer Aniston is perfect. She goes bare and glamorous at night, and always looks wonderful on the red carpet. But it's her day time outfits I like best.


So that's my advice. Find a celebrity who's a good 10 years younger, and steal as many style pointers as you can from her. I'm generous, so I'll even let you use Jennifer.


After all, I'm probably not the only woman who spots something cute in a store and wonders WWJD?

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 22: Blot, don't powder

I just realized that I'm sounding awfully bossy these days. Do this; do that; hey you in all the black! Wear some color, damn it! Well, I just want you to know that you have my permission to tell me I'm full of it. OK? OK.

Now here's another
rule
tip for you: as we age, our skin becomes less lustrous. Which you might think is a good thing. After all, shine is bad, right?

Well ... maybe. Nobody wants to relive their days of high school/high beams. Nobody wants to look like an oil-slick--but go too matte and powdery, and you start to look embalmed.

I've already mentioned that every beauty expert on the face of the earth advises us to wear less makeup as we get older--and that I disagree. But I do think it's important to let the natural texture of your skin show. Especially if you've painstakingly cleansed, toned, moisturized and sun-screened your face. You're probably using at least one product that promises to brighten your complexion with optical diffusers. Don't you want your hard work to show?

So whatever you do, don't keep touching up with powder during the day. Instead, whip out a packet of blotting papers and blot off the shine. You'll absorb the extra oil and perspiration, and you'll do it without powdering over the beautiful glow you achieved from your skincare and makeup.

Do I need to show you Baby Jane again?



A few years ago it was well-nigh impossible to find blotting papers. People scoured beauty supply stores to find Palladio papers, because the only other blotting papers available were by Shu Uemera, and they cost ridiculous amounts of money.

Well, now there are all kinds available. Every makeup line seems to be producing them, and at all kinds of prices.

Drugstore Lines

When I was at Blissdom in February, I went to the E.L.F. party and came away with a packet of their papers. I just love them. And you get 50 for $1.50.

Noevir Japanese papers are available on Amazon, 100 for $3.30.

Clean & Clear papers are also very popular, at 50 for $5.69.

Sonia Kashuk has 100 sheets for $6.99 at Target.

Boutique and Department Store lines

Now that the word has gotten out on blotting papers, everyone has gotten into the act, and of course, the prices are all over the place. Naturally, the packaging on these little packets is adorable--but you're the only person who's going to see it, so why spend the extra money? Let's see how high they can go.

Too-Faced has 100 for $12.99.

Sephora has 50 sheets for $10.00.

Shu Uemura has 40 sheets for $12.00

And MAC's Blot Film offers 30 super special sheets for $13.50. Ding ding ding! We have a winner! That's 45 cents each time you blot the shine off your nose. Why? Because they're film, not paper. Hey, at that price, they should be film of Marie Antoinette eating cake. You might as well blot your face with dollar bills.

A dirt-cheap alternative

Thrifty chicks use Starbucks napkins. I kid you not.

OK, ladies--it's a sunny Friday afternoon, and it's time to start enjoying the weekend. Have fun! (And leave a comment if you think I'm picking on MAC. After all, nobody likes an internet bully.)

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 21: Back out of black

Black is chic; black is slimming; black goes everywhere; black goes with everything. But let me tell you something; you don't look as good in black as you think you do.

Think about it. Black washes everyone out. It makes them look sad. That's why it's the traditional color for mourning. It makes you look so terrible that even if you aren't all that upset at the death of your mother-in-law, you can put on a good show. Who wears black clothes and no makeup? Nuns. The rest of us have to wear a full face of spackle to overcome the effect of the black.

There are colors out there that flatter your complexion a hundred times more than black does. Like the lights on a skincare infomercial, they cast a flattering glow at your face. When you wear the right colors, you can wear less makeup. Maybe you don't need to wear any makeup at all.

Figure out what your best colors are and wear them. A lot. If you don't know what your best colors are, ask. And pay attention when people pay you compliments. Example? I went to a party wearing a pale green silk suit the color of Boston lettuce. It had a fitted satin jacket and a chiffon skirt with car wash panels. My friend Ann told me "You should never wear any other color. Ever." Well, talk about a wake-up call. If I thought I could get away with it, I'd paint my entire house that color. (And I'm definitely going to make sure my coffin is lined in it. Might as well make the undertaker's job a little easier.)

OK, here's is one instance where a picture is worth a thousand words. Look what came home with me yesterday:

Aren't those colors amazing?

Let me break this down into its component parts. This is

a pale green Banana Republic cardigan


and two Banana Republic luxe tank tops, one green, one turquoise blue

the pale green Banana Republic ombré scarf I admired in an earlier post

and my favorite--a metallic tie-dye scarf from Express in shades of green, turquoise, and purple.

I feel like I brought home the best bits of a Crayola box. And the effect of them together is amazing. I can't wait to wear these pieces.

Are you ready to make friends with color?

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 20: Think like a decorator

A decorator once said that if you walk into a house and look around, you can tell how old the owners are.

I find the whole idea depressing, because I suspect that my house is telling the world I'm 80.

But let's explore the idea and apply it to clothes. Can people tell your age from your clothes? I think they can.

Young people just starting out stay current because current is all they know. If my daughter decided to buy a white t-shirt, a jean skirt, and a cardigan, she'd end up getting something like this:

Fitted T-shirt from Forever XXI

Jean skirt from The Gap

Ruffled-edged tie-front sleeveless cardigan from Forever XXI

Meanwhile, my mother would end up with stuff like this:

T-shirt from Lands End

Chambray skirt from Vermont Country Store

Cardigan from Lands End

Now, when you think about it, nothing says a cardigan has to be a plain, button-up, long-sleeved sweater. Or that a jean skirt has to graze the top of your ankles. Or that a t-shirt has to be boxy.

And certainly nothing says you have to wear the old lady stuff from head to toe.

So for today, do a youth inventory of your clothes. Figure out the likely demographic for each piece you're wearing. See if you can't tweak your look a little. (And include your accessories! The right shoes, bag, and jewelry can shave off a lot of years.)

30 Days to 10 years younger--10 minute tips. Tip 19: Be true to yourself

You know what's the problem with most fashion designers? They're men. Which means that they never have to wear their own clothes.

And that means they get to design anything they want.

Male designers know full well that a 14-year old giraffe-like supermodel will climb into whatever they design--say, a lucite rain barrel full of goldfish--stalk down the runway in eight-inch platforms, stare sulkily at the cameras, pivot, and stalk back. The rain barrel will never see the light of day again. At the end of the show, the designer will come out to take his bow wearing whatever he wants. T-shirt, jeans, khakis, Converse high-tops, bare feet--whatever. His fragrances, sunglasses, and purses will continue to sell.

This is not the case with female fashion designers. They have a sort of contractual obligation to wear their own clothes. That means their fashions have to be at least somewhat wearable.

So how do they dress?

I now present a sorbet, as a palette-cleanser between courses. Check out what these female designers wear. These are the most fashion-forward women on the planet. Right now they're occupied with coming up with the clothes that will be in stores in 2011. And they're not all young. Some of them aren't even thin. (Can you believe it???)

Ann Demeulemeester

Carolina Herrera
Betsey Johnson
Donna Karan
Nanette Lepore
Stella McCartney
Josie Natori

Miuccia Prada

Sonia Rykiel
Agnes Troublé (agnes b.)
Diane Von Furstenberg
Vera Wang

Vivienne Westwood

Do you notice something about these photographs? Each of these women exemplifies the spirit of her line. Vivienne Westwood and Betsey Johnson are eccentric; Josie Natori and Carolina Herrera are elegant; Donna Karan is sensual; Nanette Lepore is foo-foo feminine.

They've figured out their personal style. They know what they want to project, and they don't let age and figure flaws stop them. We shouldn't either.