The Semiotics of Samples, or Sample Saturday #3

Sample Saturday is enjoying a three-day weekend

Internet, I know. I come out of hibernation, make promises to try all teh samples, then in two weeks, I'm already behind schedule. (Wait a minute—"semiotics?" Being behind? This is starting to sound like college.)

In my defense, there are times when I try an unassuming little packet of skincare, and it's like I opened Pandora's box. ExfoliKate, I'm looking at you.

And so, I decided to streamline the process. My first step was to sort through my drawers of samples, and no, I am not kidding.

I dumped them onto the floor and sorted them into skincare, makeup, and body care (fragrances are already in their own little ghetto.)

Then I sorted through the skincare samples, organizing not by product, but by packaging style. I mean, one of my problems—apart from the sheer number of samples I've accumulated—is their bulk. Some of these puppies take up a ridiculous amount of room. And wouldn't it be wise to use up the bulky ones first? I haven't even gotten past the first chapter of the Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and yet, I could swear I could feel Marie Kondo smiling approvingly.

As I sorted, I started to become aware of a hell of a lot of marketing savvy.  OK, duh, companies give out samples to get us to buy their products. But there were subtleties apparent even to the not-very-marketing-savvy likes of me.

I noticed that my samples are packaged in four different ways:

Utilitarian single-or-few use metallic packets

These appear to be the choice of skincare companies that market themselves as no-nonsense. They are taking a scientific approach to skincare, and they want you to know it.

Utilitarian metallic packets stuck onto cardboard cards or folders

 

These tend to be produced by department store beauty brands. They like their big color photographs. The cardboard folder tends to outweigh the actual sample. By a lot.

"Deluxe Samples," i.e., samples good for several uses

 

These tend to be the specialty of extremely high-end department store brands. The reasoning being, I suppose, that this shiznit is expensive, and you want to be able to tell whether it does what it says it will do. This is also the size you can get from subscription boxes and at Sephora by spending Sephora points.

Several use tubes packaged in miniatures of the full-size product

 

This particular marketing approach obviously works with yours truly

Miniatures of full-size products tend to be mainstream high-end luxury department store brands like Guerlain, Estee Lauder, and Chanel. I'm guessing these are brands that want to capitalize on their brand recognition and perceived luxury, even in the teeny-tiny munchkin size.

Sample Strategy 101

If my goal is to cut down on the sheer amount of space currently devoted to storing these marketing devices, you'd think I'd head straight to the pile of department store brands like Lancôme and Yves St. Laurent, because holy hell, I've read books thinner than some of those folders.

However, I'm not just chucking out my kids' old Legos; I'm actually trying to discover some new products. I just ran out of my favorite foundation, Guerlain's Lingerie de Peau. I'm wondering whether my La Mer lip balm is worth the money. Something gave me a few milia and I plan to exfoliate all the way to Australia to get rid of them. And makeup is an incredibly efficient thing to sample because if I don't like it, I don't have to "make it work." I didn't pay for it, and can chuck it into the bin with a clear conscience.

And so, with no further ado, allow me to present this week's samples

note the classy halo effect

Ren Instant Firming Beauty Shot

Radical Skincare Age Defying Exfoliating Pads

DHC Deep Cleansing Oil

Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua in Beige Rosé

Fresh Soy Face Cleanser

Yves Saint Laurent Vernis a Levres Rebel Nudes # 103, 106, and 107

Mox Botanicals Lip Butter

Laura Mercier Smooth Finish Flawless Fluide in Vanillé

Sisley Black Rose Cream Mask

Why you shouldn't listen to a word I say about Chanel's Sublimage Eye, Josie Maran Argan Oil, and some discontinued Dolce&Gabbana lipsticks

This is a series in which, in an attempt to work my way through my sample overload, I spend the weekend trying out samples, then inflict capsule reviews upon the internet.


Why am I deliberately trying to undercut my own so-called "authority?" 

Because I just blogged about how cosmetics and skincare have expiration dates. And now I'm reviewing two products that are no longer available, except on the secondary market.

Chanel Sublimage Eye Crème Riche Régénerante Fondamentale

 

Not the cream I sampled, but bear with me.

Having recently reviewed a different Chanel eye cream, the Hydra Beauty Gel Yeux, I didn't want to bore everyone with yet another Chanel eye cream. Also, I was afraid it would be too rich to wear under makeup and it would make my mascara smudge.  

However, the weather we're experiencing in Chicago is so severe—and yesterday's adventures in testing AmorePacific's cushion compact left my skin so parched—that I stopped dithering and put some on.

The creme soaked right in, and my mascara applied and wore fine. 

I reapplied after coming in from outside, because it is extremely cold outside (0 degrees Fahrenheit/-17.7 Celsius) and my face was yelling at me. I felt better right away. Even though it is quite rich, this creme soaks right in and doesn't make my makeup bleed all over my face.

So yes, I liked the product. 

On the other hand, I was sampling a previous incarnation of Chanel's Sublimage eye creme. The name of the current version is slightly different. It's now called Sublimage Le Creme Yeux Ultimate Skin Regeneration Eye Cream. It costs $225 and comes in a half-ounce pot. 

Which ... no. For the price Chanel charges, you'd think it would come in a nice sleek tube or pump bottle. I don't like having to dip my finger into a pot of eye cream because it's very hard to get the small amount I intend to use. Also, germs. 

And let's face it: this stuff sells for $450 an ounce. And that, my friends, is crazy.

If this were some kind of holy grail eye creme, like maybe it erases wrinkles, lightens dark circles, and folds my laundry, I'd think about popping for the sample sizes that are still all over eBay. They at least come in a tube.

But let's face it; they've probably expired. And there are plenty of eye cremes in the world—including Chanel's latest and greatest. I admit I haven't tried it, but I already know you don't need it.

Verdict: Only if you're super rich and own a time machine.

 

Dolce & Gabbana "Monica" lipsticks

 

The eponymous Monica of lipstick fame.

 
I spent a good deal of the weekend fooling around with a tiny four-pack of lipstick samples from Dolce&Gabbana. Two of the shades were that light beige that I knew would look terrible on me, but I was afraid I was going to fall in love with the other two shades and develop some kind of crazy out-of-control craving to buy a bunch of colors in this line, maybe even the dark purple and neon pink shades that I'd actually never wear.

Crisis averted on all sides! First of all, I didn't like the lipsticks; even the shades that looked OK on the sample cards were too light and gave me that corpse-mouth look that happens when you wear the wrong shade of nude. 

Second, they dried out my lips. (This could be a factor of the severe cold we're experiencing in Chicago, combined with the dry heated air and my advanced years. But I'm blaming the lipsticks.)

Third and most important of all, this particular line must have been a limited edition. I couldn't find the lipsticks on the Dolce&Gabbana website, so I scoured the internet. All the reviews I can find are from 2013. 

OK, yeah, this means those stupid samples have been sitting in my sample stash for three years. Commence shame spiral and all that. 

I console myself with the thought that at least these samples were given to me. At least I didn't spend $9.99 to buy them on eBay.

On the bright side, I hated these lipsticks. This will leave me with a vague prejudice against D&G lipsticks that may, in the long term, save me some money.

Josie Maran Argan Oil

Josie Maran Argan Oil

Yes, I know. You're all already using Argan Oil. There's nothing I can tell you about it. 

I have described myself on more than one occasion as "the last by whom the new is tried." This has never been more true than now, when the product I'm finally trying has been on the market for eight years and has over 6,000 reviews on Sephora. 

So, short and sweet, OK? I bought a twin pack—I think it was with Sephora bonus points—of Josie Maran Argan Oil and her Argan Cleansing Oil. I thought they'd be handy for travel. But the first product I tried was the cleansing oil. It was really heavy and took way too much effort to spread over my face. Massaging it in reddened my skin. It didn't appear to rinse off cleanly. 

I hated it. With the result that its partner, the half-ounce bottle of Argan Oil, just sat there.

In the interests of science, however, this week I have patted a few drops of Argan Oil onto my face; worked a few drops through my hair, and rubbed it into my hands, nails, and cuticles. It has performed like a champion. 

Not that you care, because you probably already use it (or one of the less expensive versions available at health food stores and Amazon) but I like it. 

Even though it smells like tongue depressors. 

 

Why you shouldn't buy AmorePacific Color Control Cushion Compact

This is a series in which, in an attempt to work my way through my sample overload, I spend the weekend trying out samples, then inflict capsule reviews upon the internet. 

What are cushion compacts?

Although they have been around in Korea since 2008, cushion compacts have only recently been introduced to the U. S., so before I discuss this particular product, I'll explain the concept. A cushion compact is a container with two sections: one holds a foundation-soaked sponge, and the other holds a very finely textured spongy puff. Basically, you pat on the foundation as though you were applying pressed powder.

In general, the coverage is very light, and the finish is more glowy than matte. Of course, you can apply more where you need coverage.

This helpful graphic courtesy of L'Oreal

Why bother?

 
You mean, aside from the fact that Korean makeup and skincare is trendy and therefore you should buy every sheet mask, snail cream and cushion compact that comes onto the market? A cushion compact allows you to apply liquid foundation with a sponge, and carry it and your liquid foundation around with you, neatly shut up in a sturdy plastic compact.

Lancôme was the first company to release a cushion makeup in the west. Now L'Oreal (Lancôme's parent company) has come out with a cushion foundation in their Lumi line

L'Oreal True Match Lumi Cushion foundation, $16.99

and Physician's Formula has one, too.

Physician's Formula Mineral Wear Talc-Free All-in-One ABC Cushion Foundation SPF 50, $16.95/0.46 oz.

 Photo courtesy of Ulta

I was trying the AmorePacific product, because I'm fancy (and they're the ones who gave me a sample.) 

AmorePacific Color Control Cushion Compact Broad Spectrum SPF 50+, $60

My impressions

I received a large cardboard folder with three sealed tubs inside: the tiny sponge, and the two shades of foundation designed to be worn by women with pink undertones: 104 Tan Blush, and 106 Almond Blush. 

Mind you, I don't think of my skin as particularly pink. But it must be as rosy as a baby's behind, because my two sample shades looked very yellow on me. Here I am trying shade 104, trying not to squint in the Walgreen's parking lot. 

Poppy Buxom, Amore Pacific Color Control Cushion Compact, and lipstick

All I'm wearing is the AmorePacific cushion foundation and the Dolce&Gabbana lipstick I was testing—oh yes, and an air of general pissiness caused by the fact that the sun was in my eyes, and I was Not Enjoying the fragrance of the lipstick. 

As you can see, I'm fairly shiny. I'm wearing the cushion foundation over my usual Estee Lauder DayWear moisturizer, which is oil-free and extremely hydrating. The foundation does nothing to mattify that.  

Unfortunately, it also does nothing to hold the moisture in, so now, three hours later, I feel a bit dry. Of course, this is January in Chicago, and I have dry skin. Your mileage, as ever, may vary.

Coverage

 

The redness around my nostrils is still very much in evidence. This stuff did nothing for my undereye circles and very little for my hyper-pigmentation. You're supposed to be able to dab on extra product to achieve better coverage, but I could dab until the cows came home and I wouldn't be able to cover the stuff I have that needs covering. 

Verdict

 

Once again, this product is trying to solve a problem I don't have. I don't tend to reapply foundation once I leave the house, so I don't need to carry it around with me. Hence the portability of a cushion foundation isn't really a selling point for me.

Also, the coverage on this stuff is almost nil; I'd still have to use concealer to cover broken capillaries, hyper-pigmention, and undereye circles. 

Also, to be completely honest, the puff kind of squicks me out. Admittedly, acne isn't my issue, but I can't imagine dabbing and dabbing and dabbing the same puff over areas with breakouts. Yikes.

Oh, and the SPF has got to be pretty much useless in the tiny amounts you're patting on.

On top of everything else, this stuff sells for $60.

In short, this stuff is a giant nope. 

Alternatives

If you have normal to slightly dry skin, are looking for light coverage, and like the portability of a cushion foundation, I think you would probably do better with the L'Oreal product. It comes in a much wider range of shades. 

If color matching is an issue, try heading to the department store and buying the Lancôme version, which would allow you to try before buying. Lancôme offers 11 shades, including some designed for women of color.

And if you're on a DIY kick, you can make your own cushion foundation using a compact you can buy for $10 and the foundation of your choice.

Phytokératine Extrême Exceptional Mask: A Sample Saturday capsule review

This is a series in which, in an attempt to work my way through my sample overload, I spend the weekend trying out samples, then inflict capsule reviews upon the internet. 

In my last review, I kind of went mental telling you the various reasons why you shouldn't bother with Kate Somerville's ExfoliKate.

This time I'm keeping it short and sweet.

I tried Phyto Phytokératine Extrême Exceptional Mask this week.

It was only OK.

You can get a 6.7 oz. jar at Sephora for $59.00.

I actually really prefer Fréderic Fekkai's Technician Color Care mask, and I can get 7 ounces at Walgreen's for $25.00.

I prefer the way Fekkai makes my hair feel—really soft, but not weighed down—and the fragrance is better. If I can also save $34.00, win/win, say I.

How's this for a short review?

Why you shouldn't buy Kate Somerville ExfoliKate

his is a series in which, in an attempt to work my way through my sample overload, I spend the weekend trying out samples, then inflict capsule reviews upon the internet.

Kate, Kate, Kate. "ExfoliKate?" Must we?

The Unbearable Cuteness of WordPlay aside, this product is pretty much exfoliation salad. It has it all: alpha-hydroxy acids, beta-hydroxy acid, papain, Retinol--everything you need to slough off dead skin cells--except perhaps a box of 80 grit sandpaper.

When I tried this product, I followed the directions precisely. You're supposed to rub the product on your face for 30 seconds, then let it sit there for two minutes. Because I was also trying out a hair mask and am a flighty creature at best, I brought my iPhone into the bathroom so I could use the timer. Precision for the win!

The little single-use packet contained about a teaspoon of product--if that. It was the color of Palak Paneer

and smelled like curry. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I like curry. But I thought to myself, as I lightly massaged the slightly gritty, curry-smelling stuff onto my face, "Perhaps it contains cumin or turmeric or some other food, like kale, that has taken the Healthy Living Community by storm!" But no. A tube of ExfoliKate may be the world's last kale-free zone.

Let's have a look at the ingredient list:

As you can see, in addition to the exfoliating agents—which are legion—there are all kinds of essential oils in ExfoliKate. I see bergamot, lavender, cinnamon, rosewood, orange, and lemon, among others. These would be lovely in a fragrance, but many of these oils are extremely irritating when applied directly to the skin.

Mind you, I have dry, but not particularly sensitive skin. My face gets mad at me when I apply sunblock too close to my eyes, but otherwise, it knows who's boss. It was only slightly red when I emerged from the shower. On the other hand, my neck and decolletage, which I don't tend to experiment upon nearly as much, were quite red and stayed that way for about 15 minutes.

Now let's talk results. I'll admit it; after I used ExfoliKate, my skin did feel smoother. But then, it would have to. ExfoliKate has every active ingredient I've ever heard of (as well as some, like lacto bacillus pumpkin ferment, which, although new to me, fail at sounding pleasantly exciting.)

The thing is, I suspect that mixing all these exfoliators together might lessen each ingredient's effectiveness. First of all, AHAs need the right pH to work. Also, all of these ingredients are only on your face for for two and a half minutes. How much can the AHAs, BHAs, papain, and fermented pumpkin accomplish in that amount of time?

As it turns out, it doesn't really matter whether the active ingredients are all that active.

If you look at the ingredients again, you'll find that after water and lactic acid, the next ingredient is polyethylene, a/k/a microbeads.

These tiny plastic beads are superb mechanical exfoliators, which is why they're found in lots of products, from toothpaste to body scrub. Unfortunately, microbeads don't biodegrade, and are believed to be bad for aquatic life. President Obama just signed a bill outlawing them. I don't know how long it will take before products containing microbeads disappear from store shelves, but I think it's safe to say that the current formula for ExfoliKate is doomed.

Oh, and on top of being malodorous and bad for the environment, this stuff is crazy expensive: $85 for a two-ounce tube.

TLDR: ExfoliKate may be a cult product (and it is) but I don't recommend it. 

Sample Saturday #2: AmorePacific, Chanel, Clinique, Dolce & Gabbana, Josie Maran, Kate Somerville, Phyto,

This is a series in which, in an attempt to work my way through my sample overload, I spend the weekend trying out samples, then inflict capsule reviews upon the internet. 

Good news, Internet! I'm actually looking forward to trying out a lot of these products. Just imagine--my first cushion foundation. I feel trendy AF!

Clockwise from top: Dolce & Gabbana Monica lipstick, Kate Somerville Exfolikate, Clinique Black Honey nail polish, Phyto Phytokeratine Extreme, Chanel Sublimage Eye cream, Josie Maran Argan Oil, and AmorePacific Color Control Cushion Compact

I've actually already tried the Phyto Phytokératine Extreme mask as well as the Kate Somerville exfoliating treatment ... now I'm trying to come up with a suave way to say "smells like curry."

Jouer Luminizing Moisture Tint SPF 20 Oil Free and Urban Decay Anti-Aging Primer Potion: Sample Saturdays Capsule Reviews

This is a series in which, in an attempt to work my way through my sample overload, I spend the weekend trying out samples, then inflict capsule reviews upon the internet.

Image courtesy of the Jouer website

Jouer Luminizing Moisture Tint SPF 20 Oil Free


When I first tried this, I thought it was a Korean BB creme, because for a while, I was drowning in samples of Dr. Jart and the like. And as with many a Korean BB creme, I wasn't delighted with the shade. Although this stuff didn't have the Silly-Putty look of a lot of them--you know that pinky-gray shade they have? No? Just me? OK, then.

Anyway, I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Turns out Jouer is an American line, made in the U.S. and there are many shades to select from, should you actually go to a store and, you know, buy some. Althought if you're a woman of color, you're out of luck.

My tiny tube is Golden, which might explain why I found it strangely yellow and a bit too dark. When I applied it, I felt like I was watching a YouTube video where the beauty guru is troweling some crazy wrong-color too-dark foundation all over her face ... I was ready to shout "Go back! You're going the wrong way!"

So ... not a BB creme, but a tinted moisturizer, in a tint that doesn't work for me. And of course, with not much coverage. Also, oil-free, which isn't my favorite, being how I am of the dry skin persuasion.

Still, I don't think it's a crap product, and if you are looking for a tinted moisturizer, it might work for you.

At 1.7 oz. for $40, my tiny sample size is worth $1.64, so it is without a shred of guilt that I'm tossing it.

Verdict: Lovely for somebody else.

Image courtesy of Urban Decay

Urban Decay Anti-Aging Eyeshadow Primer Potion Long-Lasting Eyeshadow Base

(Whew. Long name. Did UD get bought out by Estee Lauder?)

I've tried a couple of UD Primer Potions because for a while there, you couldn't buy an UD palette without receiving a container of the original. I also tried their Sin Primer Potion, which is sparkly, and a big no, as far as I'm concerned.

This is a matte potion with some extra pigment to help disguise capillaries. It's OK, it's just that it's solving a problem I don't have. Because I have dry skin, my shadow doesn't crease. Neither does it disappear a couple of hours after I apply it. In fact, the original PP and other similar products (Benefit's and Too-Faced) tend to reach out, grab my shadow, and hold it in a death grip, making it hard to blend. This doesn't do that, so I'm guessing it's a slightly creamier formula.

At the end of the day, my soft cut-crease was still there, but my liner and the crazy-ass glitter and pink sparkles had faded. (Then again, I have no business wearing crazy-ass glitter or pink sparkles, so maybe that's good.)

I tried it a second time, mixed half-and-half with eye cream. This was more successful, but I'd still consider it an extra and unnecessary step.

At $24 for .33 oz., my foil packet is worth a tall Pumpkin Spice Latte. Maybe.

Verdict: While I wouldn't actually purchase this, as it is designed to solve a problem I don't have, my experience with it does at least prompt me to toss my Benefit Lemon-Up and Too-Faced Shadow Insurance eye shadows for being annoying.

Marc Jacobs Velvet Noir Major Volume Mascara, and why I'm not spending 100 Sephora points on a sample

Marc Jacobs, I salute you for promoting your high-ranking mascara.

And so do Ted and Robin, apparently

Yes, I crack myself up. Sorry about that.

Anyway, if Major Volume (hee!) is at all likely to leave my eyelashes looking like this:

I think I'll pass.

Review: Gucci Bamboo, and what I'm wearing instead

The fragrance I decided to sample this week is probably the most recent release in my embarrassingly huge stash of tiny vials in cardboard folders.

Gucci Bamboo is the first effort of a new person in charge of fragrances at the house of Gucci. It is a combination of bergamot and musk, supposedly both powerful and feminine.

The packaging is nice. No, more than that--to an amateur fashion historian like me, the name and packaging are genius, evoking Gucci's iconic use of bamboo handles on their bags.

It's available as Eau de Parfum, Eau de Toilette, shower gel, lotion, and spray deodorant, which is nice for people who like it.

But let's discuss the contents of the bottle, or in the phraseology of perfume heads, the juice.

 I don't like it. It's both boring and strangely pungent. I spritzed on four spritzes, wrists, neck, and décolletage, and therefore had to live with it for a while. While I didn't run into the shower screaming and scrubbing at it to get it off, I didn't enjoy it.

Now when I'm sampling creams or makeup, I feel a duty to try them more than once, because sometimes the initial circumstances aren't really right, and don't give the product a fair shake. (For example: woe betide anyone who tries to get me to sample a matte liquid lipstick in Chicago in January. That won't go well, she said as she reached for the lip balm. Again.)

So anyway, I usually try to make a product work, at least a little bit. But I'm really picky about fragrances. I don't want to wear inoffensive fragrances; I want to wear fragrances that would make me want to ask myself out on a date. And this Gucci crap had that bland, millennial, unisex, inoffensive air-freshener-cum-Juicy-Fruit aroma that had me pitching it into the wastebasket within minutes of applying it.

Also, while I'm the last person to be able to pinpoint the various notes in a fragrance, there seems to be some confusion as to what we're actually smelling when we sniff Gucci Bamboo. OK, fine, I'm the idiot doesn't know anything about art, but knows what she likes. However, I found it interesting that nobody seems to be able to identify the individual notes in this perfume. Surely somewhere out there there will be a found a Snape to figure out this potion. Meanwhile, accounts differ.

Ulta and Basenotes.com says it's

casablanca lily, orange blossom, ylang ylang, sandalwood, vanilla, and grey amber 

whereas Sephora claims it's made of

Italian bergamot, casablanca lily, ylang ylang, and sandalwood.

individual reviewers on Basenotes and Makeupalley describe it as an "aquatic floral" or a musk, and Poppy Buxom describes it as a mixture of

air freshener, plastic trash bag, tongue depressor, and Juicy Fruit gum

The best review I found was this, on Fragrantica.com:

What Chance Eau Tendre is to Chanel.
What Daisy is to Marc Jacobs.
What Light Blue is to Dolce and Gabbana.
That's what Bamboo is to Gucci.

It's perfume for someone who doesn't really like perfume, but WANTS to put perfume on the dresser.

A la Angel of Fragrantica.com, I salute you. You nailed it, totally and completely.

So this week, instead of Gucci Bamboo, I'm wearing Yves St. Laurent Rive Gauche parfum, from a vintage bottle Mr. Buxom bought me in the 1990s, well before Rive Gauche's 2003 reformulation.

Now that, ladies and gentleman, is a real perfume.

Like Gucci Bamboo, it's supposed to contain bergamot and musk, but what I smell is yum. With maybe some sandalwood? And I love it.

I tried two Estee Lauder samples, or, Review or Bash? You be the judge

Estee Lauder Nightwear Plus Anti-Oxidant Night Detox Creme

I'm of the opinion that Estee Lauder's entire marketing team worked their way through college waiting on table, because they choose the longest damned names. This name, like so many of Lauder's, sounds like a waiter describing the special, where he'll  blather on about "mesquite grilled" and "grass-fed" and "lardons" and "red wine reduction" when what you need to hear is "steak."

I will therefore refer to this stuff as "EL Nightwear ... Creme."

EL Nightwear Creme is the newly-launched cousin to EL's Daywear Creme, which I like a lot. DayWear Creme has an SPF of 25, is very light, but very hydrating, and plays well with makeup. DayWear is oil-free, which is of no consequence to me; breaking out is not my issue, and if my skin feels dry, I'll add a few drops of oil to my face before I put it on.

Like DayWear, NightWear is very light and very hydrating. It feels extremely cool to the touch, probably because of its high water content.

It's nice, but hardly special, and I won't even address that nonsense about detoxing, because I credit my readers with more intelligence.

At 1.7 oz. for $55, my deluxe sample size is worth $16. Supposedly.

Verdict: Meh. I wouldn't bother with this one.

Estee Lauder Revitalizing Supreme Global Anti-Aging Eye Balm

Again with the ridiculous product names, and what, may I ask, is the word "Global" doing here ... does this cream make my undereye area look well-traveled? Sophisticated? Or like it has jet lag? One wonders.

Anyway, I tried two eye cream samples this week, because eye cream is by far the most common type of skincare sample in my stash. Is this because they can hand out a minuscule amount of the stuff, yet still feel that they're doing you a favor? Again, ONE WONDERS.

I first heard about Estee Lauder's new Revitalizing Supreme line from Dustin Hunter, who did a video about some of his favorite moisturizers. He really likes the face cream from this line, and says that he likes to use it as a makeup primer.

I agree with him about the primer-like characteristics of this line. The eye balm is a lightly-moisturizing soothing eye cream that leaves an odd matte finish; I'm guessing it has some kind of silicone as one of the first ingredients. (I don't know for sure, because this information isn't on the sample, and I can't find it on the Lauder website, and frankly, that's dumb and makes me cranky.)

I didn't find it particularly emollient or hydrating, so I thought I would try it as an eyeshadow primer, as I thought it might work for those of us with dry-ish eyelids.

However, I tried it under the Urban Decay Anti-Aging Primer Potion I'm using this week, and they did not play well together ... my under eye concealer caked up and creased in new and exciting ways. I guess I was ODing on silicone or something like that.

For the record, a review on the Nordstrom website claimed the cream had very fine sparkles; I just dabbed some on the top of my hand and didn't notice anything. On the other hand, my eyes are putting my optician's kids through college, so YMMV and all that.

At $60 for .5 oz, my deluxe sample size is worth $20, and I probably just blew $5 dabbing it on my hand.

Verdict: Very meh for the money, and I wouldn't bother with it.

Chanel Hydra Beauty Gel Yeux--a Sample Saturday Capsule Review

This is a series in which, in an attempt to work my way through my sample overload, I spend the weekend trying out samples, then inflict capsule reviews upon the internet. You're welcome.

Chanel Hydra Beauty Gel Yeux

I grabbed this tube because of the "Hydra" in the name. My skin is parched because good lord, the air is dry around here.

Verdict: Hydra Beauty Gel Yeux is lovely--light, soothing and moisturizing, and it didn't make my eye makeup melt all over the place. Also--and I checked right away, because I've been fooled before--the full-sized product comes in a pump dispenser, which I like much better than a pot (a tube, would be even better, but you can't have everything.)

At $60 for .5 oz., my .1 oz. sample is worth $12.

I would definitely think hard about buying the full size of this stuff. (Although yes it's expensive and holy crap, I have a lot of products to use up before buying one. single. thing.)

I hereby declare 2016 the year of the low-buy

Hello, internet! Long time no blog.

Where have I been? Doing a lot of traveling. I took Young Master Buxom off for his sophomore year in Boston, and the following week, drove Miss Buxom for a post-graduate year at Interlochen in way-the-hell-up-there Michigan.

Then, just when I thought that with the younguns out of the house I could finally Do Something About It, Mr. Buxom announced that we should try living in the city for a while. I am the biggest feminist who ever feministed (for a housewife, anyway) but decided that after 18 years of the commuter train, he deserved a break. Because a couple of times in my life, I lived within walking distance of my job, and it was awesome. If Mr. Buxom wants to walk to work and back, have at it, say I.

Therefore, whenever I head to the gym or get my hair colored or decide to Do Something About the House, I'm the one who commutes. Which is fine, but eats up a bit of time.

I've also traveled back to Massachusetts and Michigan for parents' weekend visits, and been to Dallas and New York (where I had the joy of visiting with blackbird.)

Then there was Thanksgiving, and more traveling. We drove to New Hampshire, picked up our children (one from the airport, one from his dorm) and proceeded to celebrate. We also had a last minute shopping trip to J. Crew because Mr. Buxom didn't pack a suit but had to do a last minute trip to D.C. as well as Austin. So I drove the airport Buxoms to the airport and the dorm Buxom to the dorm and then drove back to Chicago by myself.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THE GLAMOUR OF IT ALL.

So now I begin my 11th year of blogging absolutely and totally pushing 60, back on Weight Watchers, up to my eyeballs in recently purchased makeup and skincare as well as clothes that are too tight, hence the Weight Watchers.

Which leads me to my title. That's quite enough shopping. I mean, yes, I intend to participate in Christmas, but that's it. I am drowning in stuff. Most of it extremely nice and lovingly selected and gloated over, but still.

Confession time: Between Birchbox, GWPs, Beauty Event bags, and the samples Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom, and Sephora throw into every order, I have managed to fill one of these:

with innumerable teensy- or deluxe-sized samples of high-end skincare, makeup, hair care, body care, and fragrance products. Some of them might change my life, but who's going to know when they're just sitting there.

So. No more buying for quite a while. And I hereby declare Sample Saturdays for skincare and Sample Sunday for makeup. (Sure, the people at church might be surprised when I show up looking like a clown, but hey! Church isn't for the saved, church is for the people in need of salvation, amirate?)