Orgy Night ...

... and it's not what you're thinking at all, so cut it out. If you're looking for pervy stuff, go check your email. If you don't get enough pervy spam to keep yourself sufficiently occupied these long winter evenings, let me know, and I'll forward mine to you. OK?

No, dear reader, the orgy I speak of is the vast pile of new books and toys I accumulated today, plus the fact that my New Favorite Television Show will be on tonight. (See previous entry.)

So in addition to watching "How Clean is your House?" I get to read my new library book, Fer-de-Lance, by Rex Stout, which only happens to be the first Nero Wolfe mystery, that's all. And being the geek that I am, I fully expect to read through all of the rest of the Nero Wolfe mysteries, in strict chronological order, because that kind of thing makes a geek really feel alive.

And as if that weren't enough enjoyment for a single evening, I get to also flip through two new magazines, Esquire and Shop, Etc., both of which look very promising, as well as a copy of InStyle magazine's Getting Gorgeous which is just like an InStyle magazine except there are no ads, how cool is that?

And if that's not enough, I have a new jar of bath salts and three new pairs of shoes. And don't break out into a nervous sweat or start to drool or anything, but one of these new pairs of shoes is a pair of ponyskin leopard print pumps by Casadei with a tiny keyhold opening near the base of the toes and a teeny little leather bow, a slightly rounded toe and killer four-inch stiletto heels. They are so totally Honey West that I may wet my pants. I realize, dear reader, that you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but for Baby Boom women, that is an image that resonates powerfully. We all were in thrall to Honey West. Trust me on this.

So after reading my new books and magazines and watching my new favorite teevee show and taking a long bath with my new bath salts, I'll probably spend some time admiring my new shoes, and maybe even taking them for a test spin around my bedroom.

Hmmm, on second thought this is actually starting to sound kind of pervy, so I'd better shut up now before I embarrass myself.