Friday, February 04, 2005

They laughed when I bought my web cam ...

All modesty aside--when it comes to wasting time on the internet, I truly excel. For example, last night.

I was catching up on my blog reading. I'm pretty sure it was Little. Yellow. Different. I noticed Ernie included a very cool use of the Google Images search feature. Instead of the cliche Wikipedia definition of "fauxhawk," he sent you to this awesome page of Google images.

Well, once I was in Google images, I figured, gee, what can I do a search for now? Naturally, the only possible answer was "Chesty Morgan."

So I do a search for Chesty Morgan, and the next thing you know, I'm on a website devoted to women with ginormous breasts. As I am the proud possesor of a fairly startling pair of breasts myself, when I say these things were amazing, I'm not exaggerating. Some of them were even real. Of course, the fake ones were even more interesting than the real ones, because how often do you have a chance to gawk at a woman with what looks like two flesh-colored beachballs stapled to her chest? But the natural hooters were interesting, too. Mostly because I kept thinking ew, these weird guys out there actually get all fetishy about this stuff.

Then it occured to me, should my husband ever dump me, I have a career option that I never knew existed. Here I was imagining myself a single mother selling real estate or Mary Kary or some such. When instead, I could become an internet big boob model.

Of course, at this point, I'd have to target the guys with a big boob/middle-aged women fetish. But my cursory internet investigations into the world of male sexual fetishes have convinced me that there are probably a ton of them out there.

Anyway, I'd say this one link and its follow-up was good for about 45 minutes of horrified clicking around. And it was way more interesting than reading What Color is My Parachute?

So you had all better pray that my husband never dumps me.

1 comment:

  1. I'm officially frightened now. I hope you're happy.

    BTW, if you really want to know what sort of fetishists lurk out there and why they might be interested in you (and you know you do), you need to get StatCounter ( for your blog. It'll tell you what keywords people searched on to find you. My DKNY corset sneakers are responsible for many a fetishist's frustration, apparently.


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