Monday, April 18, 2005

In case you thought I was kidding

when I claimed to be Apple's bitch--or you thought I was indulging in a bit of hyperbole when I said that I wanted to suck Apple's toes, my current situation, which is sitting here blogging on an iBook while I listen to music on iTunes and at the same time, re-charge my iPod,* should convince you that I wasn't exaggerating.

And actually, it gets worse. See, we spineless masochistic submissive bitches have NO PRIDE. And we revel in it. WE LOVE IT. So I just downloaded--honestly, I have no idea how many and I DON'T REALLY WANT TO KNOW--an assload of songs from iTunes. At ninety-nine cents a pop.

And were they good songs? Of course not. We spineless toe-sucking boot-lickers have no pride and NO TASTE. I got some Talking Heads and some pretty much blameless stuff like that, but most of the stuff I was spending all my husband's money on was complete cheese. No, not even cheese. More like Velveeta.

So until I grow my spine back, imagine me groveling like a whipped cur, carrying my iPod around in my mouth like a chew toy, and trying to figure out a way to sell plasma or deliver newspapers or something--ANYTHING--to be able to keep making monetary love offerings to Apple.



  1. Aha! This explains why I am NOT Apple's bitch. I am unable to multitask. All that equipment would make me feel ... inadequate, somehow.


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