Monday, May 16, 2005

Fall into the yap


I do begin to see the resemblance
Originally uploaded by Trilby.
I'm sure Julia Roberts will not be the least bit gratified to hear this (and if you're reading this, Julia, I apologize in advance for the rude awakening) but I get told pretty often that I look like her. Like three times in the past four days. It happens frequently enough so that I start laughing maniacally whenever I hear the phrase "Has anyone ever told you that you look like ..."

Now, mind you, there actually are a few points of resemblance: the general coloring, the much longer-than-it-is-wide Mr. Ed horse face, and the ski-jump nose.

But basically it all boils down to the tremendous yap. Of which this picture shows merely the iceberg's tip. I mean, if she stretched that thing open a bit more, she could swallow not only her fist, but her entire arm, a Hardy's Thickburger, an entire unsliced watermelon, a Volkswagon New Beetle, and if she was feeling particularly peckish, Monstro the whale from Disney's Pinocchio.

So for me, the question is mostly, OK, she has the real estate, but is this basically a McYap--just for show--or does it actually get used?

And that is not what I was talking about at all, you creeps, so just get your minds out of the gutter, OK? I was talking about TALKING.

I ask because my yap partied excessively hard this weekend. To the point where I pretty much have to SHUT THE HELL UP for a few days because my vocal chords are completely shot.

I'd blog at length on the subject of laryngitis and how frustrating it is for the biggest blathermouth in Chicago to have to give herself a gag order, except I swallowed both my hands so they could give my vocal chords a full body massage.

No really, I did. No lie. I'm typing this with my toes.

--P.

1 comment:

  1. On the other hand, you do not have Ms. Roberts' blank, semi-sentient stare.

    ReplyDelete

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xxx, Poppy.