Thursday, July 21, 2005

I feel petty--oh so petty.

I hate going to the dentist more than just about anything.

The only thing I hate more than bringing myself to the dentist is bringing my children to the dentist. This really sucks because I spend the whole time anticipating some kind of disaster that will involve a lot of inconsolable sobbing--and maybe even my children crying a little bit.

Well, the other day I went ahead and brought them to the dentist, and while I was in the waiting room hiding from the old Highlights magazines, I read a newspaper article these oh-so-helpful dentist-type people had tacked up on the wall.

The author of the article claimed that people don't floss their teeth, but pretend they do. It said that hygienists see a lot of people who claim to be regular flossers, but in reality, are only occasional flossers in a "whoops, going to the dentist this week; better floss for a while" kind of way. One hygienist said she can tell when a person flosses regularly, because his or her gums will toughen up.

So basically, this article accused 95 percent of us of lying.

Really, the nerve of this goody-goody Waterpik-wielding Pollyanna. How dare she call me a liar? I'll thank her to keep a civil tongue in her head. A bit more time scraping off plaque and a bit less time mouthing off to reporters is what's called for here.

So I decided that between now and my next check up, I'm going to floss at least once every day. Even if I'm bombed out of my mind. Even if I fall asleep with my contacts in and my makeup on, I will brush and floss my teeth.

Then when the hygienist compliments me on my healthy gums and asks me whether I've been flossing, I'll lie like a rug and say "No, not at all."

That will just show her.

--P.

4 comments:

  1. heh heh - I love it!

    I floss regularly. Once a week. That's regular.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Okay, I'll admit it - I lie about flossing. And that tech, she's on to my lies as evident by the smirk on her face as she mops up the blood around my mouth.

    Restaurantqueen= TOK who has wondered where all the kewl people from alt.fashion were hiding.

    ReplyDelete
  3. clarification -
    kiki = restaurantqueen = TOK

    it's damn hard keeping up with all these aliases.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I knew it as soon as I saw your nom de blog.

    And you're right about the kewl people being here. Join us on the blog side!

    --P.

    ReplyDelete

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xxx, Poppy.