Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I got a root canal, and all I got was these lousy Advils

Boy, here I was thinking I was going to score some really amazing drugs. Drugs that I actually wouldn't need or want to do, because the tooth in question was already dead. But you know--A ROOT CANAL--big stuff, right? Even an endodontist who does them all day must realize that a ROOT CANAL is a pretty serious matter.

And after reading Badger's post about her medicine cabinet, I figured I needed to bump up the contents of my own, with maybe some Vicodin or at least some Tylenol 3. (Do they still make that? Nobody talks about it anymore. I've certainly never gotten any email offers about it. God, this is so embarrassing. I'm such a dork. How did I get so out of it? I don't know about the cool new drugs.)

Something clearly needs to be done about this. See, I have a ten-year-old, and it's time I started worrying about his possible drug use. If I don't do something about my medicine cabinet inventory, there won't be anything in there to sneak, and in ten years' time, he'll be complaining that I robbed him of his adolescence.

I just checked, and aside from some birth control pills, which wouldn't tempt even the most rebellious of male teenagers, I have a bottle of Indomethacin. I got it when I developed tendonitis in my right wrist. Probably from blogging. (I hereby command my readers to feel guilty. All three of you.)

Now the label on the Indomethacin says something about it causing drowsiness or dizziness, which is pretty good, I guess. But it doesn't say anything about not operating heavy machinery, or not combining with alcohol, so it's probably lame.

Honestly. Why on earth did I even bother with the stupid root canal?

Something tells me I need to be much much whinier when I'm at the dentist. Or how will I ever score any drugs?

--P.

4 comments:

  1. What you need is a new dentist, preferably a female who is somewhat high-strung. They give the best drugs. Mine has offered valium for a teeth cleaning. (Which you will be shocked to learn that I declined. The cleaning, not the valium. Oh wait, maybe it was the other way around.)

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  2. My dentist didn't offer me jack when I had an unexpected root canal. I had gone in for a cleaning and it turned out a molar had cracked and yadda-yadda-yadda next thing I know I am hearing him say "uh-oh" and a root canal ensued on the spot. I remember involuntary tears trickling regularly from the corners of my eyes and into my temples and ears. I didn't even get the old "If you experience some discomfort.." thing. But then again this dentist has a crew cut and apparently is of the Oh, just walk it off, ya pansy school.

    Also my parents didn't have any remotely interesting drugs available, so my adolescence was warped beyond belief; by age 15 I had descended to distilling rum. By 17 I was making a profit.

    -Joke, capitalky

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  3. Lovely little blog you got here. Mind if I look around?

    *kicks tyres*

    I was looking around blogosphere for new links for my blogroll, and someone traipsed here via a very liberal cat-lover (I think, I've been to so many blogs).

    Unfortunately, I had nothing to tell her since I hate cats.

    I'm afraid I'm basically in the same quandry with you, since I've never had a root canal. Indeed, I have had only one cavity the whole of my born days.

    I rock.

    Feel better,
    Victoria

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  4. My medicine cabinet is sad too, Poppy. The only good thing left is 2 lonely Valiums from an ER trip for a crippling back spasm.
    Lots of children's tylenol and allergy crap, but nothing at all that would make the walls bend.

    This lack of drugs is depressing. I think I need a drink.

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.