Mens Juvens in Corpore Senex. Or something.

You know the Latin saying "mens sana in corpore sano?" I.e., "a sound mind in a sound body?" Hah!

What we've got going on here is a young mind in an old body. As in thinks-like-a-toddler, looks-like-a-granny.

Because while Yoga has become something of a joke, and getting in and out of a low, soft armchair elicits a lot of loud groaning noises, making me sound like the 2,000 year old man, the evidence that my mind is getting younger and younger is beginning to pile up:

1. Yesterday morning, I started off as a teenager: I began the day sullen, mopey, and completely reluctant to get out of bed.

2. My mental age plunged rapidly. After Yoga, I went to Costco, where I bought a boxed set of Thin Man movies on DVD. And then pouted because I couldn't start watching them right away. At this point, I estimate I was about eight.

3. By the afternoon I was picking fights with some Brownies who wouldn't do what I wanted them to do. My mental age had dropped to four.

4. Someone blocked my driveway when I was trying to get back in. I stuck my tongue out at her. Thus reaching toddler status.

5. While dinner cooked I sat in a chair with a blankie in my lap. At this point, I was down to one. Barely.

6. After dinner I had to get the children to bed. My husband discovered me on my son's bed, curled up in the fetal position. Mental age? Eight months' gestation.

7. Soon after that, I went to bed. I had no choice. I had to go to sleep before I turned into a zygote.