Monday, March 27, 2006

Spring break with the family? Call 1-800-DET-OXME

It's not that I don't love my husband and children to death (honestly, strapping them into the minivan and driving slowly off a dock into some deep water seems pretty appealing at times, but MOSTLY it's a lovefest around here, OK?)

But.

Driving to Disney World? From Chicago? Takes most of two days. We left Chicago at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday and arrived in Atlanta at 8:00 that night. The next day we left at 10:00 and got to our hotel at Disney about 6:00 p.m. That's a lot of driving. And I did more than my share.

In fact I drove from Chicago to about halfway through Kentucky before we stopped for lunch and I let my husband take over.

So can I blame all the driving for my becoming an alcoholic? Let's see, there were two frozen Margaritas in Atlanta, and two Mai Tais last night, and today, a Vermouth Cassis at lunch and a glass of wine, and tonight? Two more glasses of wine ... if I were Joke's sister, I'd be donating my own liver to science.

And this will really kill Joke. Not only did we not go on a single ride today, but I got Fast Passes for Joke's favorite ride (Test Track) which we've never bothered to go on before, but we got the passes and then blew the ride off--why? Because we were hanging around the France portion of the World Showcase. Buying berets and Guerlain perfume and chatting up the waiters.

Oh, and you know how fussy he is about what people order in restaurants? Well, my latest craze will really bother him. I just order the cheapest entree that doesn't break any of my dietary rules. Like right now, I don't eat white flour. So that leaves pasta out of the question. So tonight I got some vegetarian thing. It was way cheaper than anything else on the menu, it didn't contain white flour, and it was delicious. OK, maybe you have to really like lima beans, but luckily, I do. And hey who cares what's on the plate as long as there is a lot of ethanol in the glass?

Joke is probably writhing in agony right now. In fact, he's dying.

So what should we all drink at the wake?

8 comments:

  1. Boone's Farm Strawberry Wine.

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  2. After I have the whole state cooled down for you...these are the thanks I get?

    -J.

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  3. 151 proof rum.
    What isn't consumed can light the funeral pyre.

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  4. Forget the wake. It sounds as if we need to have another rendezvous a Paris, Miss Poppy B.

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  5. Oh, I get it. You are at Disney World, or were. Yes, I can understand the not wanting to buy clothes thing now.

    As you were...

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  6. Stuck in a car with the refrains of, "Are we there yet?" repeating over & over, it sounds like you need an adult beverage. Preferably, a double ;-)

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  7. boxed wine, of cousre. with onion dip made from dried soup mix, and ruffles potato chips. we'll set him a'spinning before he even makes it into the ground....

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.