Watch out, world.

I need down time. And I'm not getting it.

1. There are cicadas all over the place, making a whining sound like the sound flying saucers make in cheesey 1950s science fiction movies.

2. I've been on the phone a lot lately. Including my cell phone, and astute readers with long memories will remember what I think about them.

3. My kids don't have school today. Why? Because it's time to fill out their report cards "Teacher Institute Day."

4. My daughter apparently wants to spend all her free time skipping back and forth in her nightgown making up stories, and resents the fact that I won't let her spend her entire summer doing so, but instead do cruel things like sign her up for six weeks of summer camp. Oh, and take her to Paris.

5. My son apparently wants to spend all his free time playing Nintendo games in his pajamas, but at least he appears OK about the summer camp. And Paris.

6. My husband puttered around the house today until 11:30 while I cleaned the kitchen and did laundry. Then he wondered whether I could drive him to the train station while I was on the way to the gym. And then decided he would take the 12:45 train. Thus breaking his all-time record for getting in my way on a work day.

7. When I got to the gym, my trainer was there and sheepishly informed me that he had to cancel our session, and that he had tried to call me, but my answering machine was full, probably due to number 2.

Decisions, decisions. Whom should I murder first? My first thought was my husband, but I think I should check his will before I do anything drastic.