Now, I've participated in the Eight Things meme before--more than once--so I'm not being faux modest when I say I had difficulty coming up with eight new things to say about myself that didn't verge on being very indiscreet.
I mean, hey, here I am laying my life wide open to the Internet--and loving it--but is it right to drag other beings into the spotlight with me? So forget it, Internet. I'm not telling you what a cocktail named the Capecodder, a red-headed boy from Lynn, Massachusetts, and the Rathskellar bar in Kenmore Square did to make me into a middle-aged woman who wonders how on earth she ... but enough of that.
So anyway. Me: Eight things about.
1. I am not at all interested in beet sorbet, so the 29 of you who came here hoping to learn about it had better go elsewhere.
2. I love photography and want to learn how to take pictures. So far I've made the following progress: I bought an expensive camera--the dooce camera, in fact--and I'm producing a lot of blurry images. This?
was not on purpose. So I set myself a task, which was to manage to take a picture of a rooster for Schmutzie's cockroll. A picture that was in focus. (Just so you know, these pictures will appear from time to time in the rest of this entry. Feel free to tell me which you like best. And don't fear the rooster.)
3. I neither like nor dislike dogs, although I do find many of them kind of smelly.
4. I'm physically lazy, which is why I'm sitting here blogging instead of going out for a long walk. And so, I am also large. But not, unfortunately, scary.
5. Some people express surprise that I actually am as old as I claim to be. They think I look younger. (Hey, don't we all?) I attribute this to my very talented colorist and the fact that some tiny percentage of my body weight serves to emplumpen my cheeks. (Of course, being incredibly immature helps, too.)
6. I'm jealous of people who pick up foreign languages easily. I don't. I can bumble along a bit in French only because it was banged into my head for eight years.
7. I've never understood women whose life's ambition is to have children. To me that's like having your life's ambition be to start growing hair under your arms. OK, maybe having a baby isn't as inevitable as growing hair where you don't want it ... but it's not that hard.
8. I disapprove of people who swear a lot. I swear a lot. Amazingly enough, enduring my own disapproval isn't as bad as you'd think. Because what makes me think I'm so smart, anyway? I'm such a fucking know-it-all. I wish I'd just shut the hell up.
I like the last rooster, because it's so bright.
ReplyDeleteDo I get to vote?
Of course! Although your showing up to vote on the best rooster has a certain deus ex machina feeling, and now I feel like a cowering peasant.
ReplyDeleteLynn, Lynn, the city of sin....
ReplyDeleteI saw Til Tuesday at the Rat. Sadly, there was no red-headed boy with me.
And I love the word emplumpen. I'm borrowing that one. I, too, look younger than I am, which I also attribute to my general emplumpenedness.
if extra fat emplumption theory does indeed makes us look younger than any minute now, i should be mistaken for a 15 year old...
ReplyDeleteBut isn't it smart to have an easily-achievable ambition? It makes you successful.
ReplyDeleteMajor B: I saw Til Tuesday at the Channel. This makes you officially cooler than me, since the Rat is a much smaller club.
ReplyDeletekristen: The fat emplumpen theory is correct. If I work it like gastric juices in a Krispy Kreme store, I could look so young that my daughter could be mistaken for my mother. So pass me a donut, please.
Suburban C: Are you saying that the rooster pictures are in focus? I can't tell--the donut grease is fogging my glasses.
Me, I used to look younger than I was going to be, and now, I look later than I used to be. Dark circles showing just how late I've become...
ReplyDeleteI'm a vampire, now, I swear, that's what the circles say, that or a victim!
N.
Is emplumpen a word, let alone a verb?
ReplyDelete-J.
Yes, it is, as promulgated by Humpty Dumpty in Alice in Wonderland.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling helpful:
ReplyDeleteHumpty Dumpty: When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.
Alice: The question is, whether you can make words mean so many different things.
Humpty Dumpty: The question is: which is to be master - that's all.