Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Same thing, but leopard print

Oh, Internet. I am a disappointed woman. My husband gave me two gifts for our wedding anniversary, and one was a copy of Kimora Lee Simmon's Fabulosity.



My husband had never heard of her because I am his guide to mass culture, and I had never bothered to mention her to him. Because she is mostly beneath my notice. Amazingly enough, however, a couple of days ago I was emailing a couple of my friends about how incredibly vulgar she is. I've also made fun of her on Mamarazzi.

For me, she has no real importance, except as a punchline. Yet now, I own her book.

Internet, this bothers me. I feel very strongly that my husband's money should not be spent on Kimora Lee Simmons in any way whatsoever. No Baby Phat jeans, no Baby Phat perfumes, no Hello Kitty diamond jewelry. Instead, his money should be spent on something else. Like expensive bathtubs. Like the one in the window at Waterworks.

It hurts me to think that he could have been saving up for an amazing Waterworks bathtub, and spent the last $15 he needed on that book.

Also, Kimora Lee Simmons has leopard print carpeting in her closet. And so do I. Should I kill myself?

9 comments:

  1. That's a nice bathtub, but is it eight grand of nice?

    Look at it this way: You are such a classy and tasteful woman that Kimora is copying YOU. We all should have leopard print carpet and credit you with the trend.

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  2. For your ANNIVERSARY???!!! All those years and he gives you the ghost written bio of a vulgar d-list celeb? Where did things go wrong? And yes, I suspect he CAN afford a fabulous bathtub for you.

    He needs a weekend at gift boot camp. You need to stop him now. Nip it in the bud before he is getting your car new brakes for your birthday and replacing the blender for Valentines Day.

    Of course you can also go into town and buy yourself something just fabulous and show him what he bought you. :)

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  3. Do not kid about the bathtub. It's fabulous but perhaps pricey. Just look around and I am sure your anniversary tub is out there.
    http://www.vintagetub.com/asp/feature_item.asp?cat=84&subcat=125

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  4. I refuse to believe that your sainted husband actually bought you that book. I'm going to need photographic evidence of some kind. A photo of you holding the book in one hand and a newspaper with today's date in the other ought to do it.

    Signed, Crabby McCrabberson

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  5. It was a funny, ironic kinda gift. Right? RIGHT?!

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  6. If I were you, I'd wander around the house muttering aloud: "I wonder what sort of organic, estate-grown espresso Kimora enjoys."

    -J.

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  7. Surfing through blogs on blogexplosion is so tedious, because they are all so mundane! However, this is one I quite like. It's definitely refreshing to come across someone who can actually write (unlike me)!

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  8. She is a total waste of humanity to me. I've caught a few minutes here and there of her ridiculous show, and it makes me nauseous.

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  9. I refuse to believe it has taken NINE comments before someone (me, actually) has said: don't kill yourself; kill Kimora.

    There. Said it.

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.