Specifically, the fact that I can download music videos. You know how some of us install elaborate home theater systems so we can watch silent movies? Well, I'm using 21st century technology to catch up with all those 80s videos I never really watched all that much back then because I had a full time job.
Because nothing keeps me moving on the treadmill more than Madonna singing Express Yourself.
And don't laugh at me, because the guy with no shirt on? Who apparently sleeps in a bunk bed in the shower when he's not lifting weights? Looks great. He hasn't aged a bit.
2. InStyle Magazine--the U.K. Edition
First of all, it tries to get me to buy shit at places like Smythson's and the TopShop, so I save a lot of money. But I also love it because it's really big. And the fashion layouts actually look like a fashion magazine. And they feature celebrities I've barely heard of, instead of showing me Mary Kate Olson again. And the interior decorating section featured a spread on Sonia Rykiel's apartment in Paris, instead of some bimbo's Malibu beach house.
3. Diet Books
I've bought so many diet books lately that if I glued them together, I could use them instead of a chinning bar. The advice is all over the map, and very often contradictory, but I lap it all up like the food I'm no longer eating.
This one is my favorite:
It's actually a good book. And I followed its advice to buy lots of other diet books. Now the other ones I bought are really pretty stupid, and one of them totally deserves a place in this list. Unfortunately, I can't remember its title. And while I could--in fact, did--spend some time looking for it on Amazon by searching for books with the word "thin" in the title, I'm not stupid enough to wade through the 23,793 hits that came up.
What does the Philosopher's Diet book tell you to do? That you Kant eat fattening food? You should Locke the fridge? By-Pascal-ories? That it's all-too-Hume-an to overeat? That losing weight leads to Sartre-orial splendor?
ReplyDeleteI like cheese, I wonder if anyone ever wrote "The Cheese Diet" I'd buy that!!
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ReplyDeleteThis post brings back awful flashbacks of when I lost my mind and decided to read a diet book. I bet those jokers never factored in that just sitting down to read their book involved a lot of sedentary time, which of course included oreos and milk. I guess that last bit was my fault. Maybe.
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