Friday, January 25, 2008

Help

Yesterday I was heading out for my voice lesson. I was leaving the house through the garage carrying my purse, music, and four packages I needed to mail.

I managed to slam the door on my fingertip.

I immediately pulled off my glove and checked, and my finger was not actually crushed--it just felt that way. It wasn't even bleeding. But my fingernail was already starting to turn purple.

So anyway, I drove to my lesson--whimpering--and when I got there, I got a glass of ice water and spent the next hour soaking my finger and singing a Mozart aria.

This morning, I was cutting a plastic ice skate blade protector so it would fit my children's ice skates, and managed to slice off part of my thumbnail with the bread knife I was (stupidly) using.

So I have only one question:

Where's Tom Cruise when I need him?

Guy spends all his time uploading videos of himself to the internet where he brags about how he's here to help. Hello, Tom, I needed someone to hold the door for me--or shorten those blade protectors--and where were you? Probably still talking to the camera.

What a douchebag.

7 comments:

  1. At least you already know what he'd say: "Wow, it's just, you know, I mean, ththththththtbbbbbbbttttt, POOF! Hahaha, and isn't it marvelous?" Such a helpful man, he is.

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  2. He is a douchebag, whether he pulls you out of a burning car or not.

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  3. Maybe he can't help you because you aren't an SP. Or a KWF. Or WHATEVER THE HELL HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
    WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

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  4. BWHAHAHA!! He is a total douchbag!

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  5. If you weren't such a damn SP, he'd help you. ;-)

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  6. Douchbag. I don't know why that made me laugh so hard I almost choked on my tea.

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.