1. Spending a weekend in the company of blackbird, Jen Lancaster, Jennifer, Wendy, Carol-in-Texas, and Susie Sunshine is
a. deafening
b. so funny your cheeks hurt from laughing
c. exhausting, exactly the way a marathon sex session should be
d. likely to get you evicted
e. all of the above
2. The majority of the time, blackbird, Poppy, Susie Sunshine, and Wendy were
a. Shopping, eating, talking, and drinking
b. Squabbling over who was sleeping where, and with whom
c. Swearing like fish wives
d. Taking incriminating pictures to upload to their blogs
e. Sitting around in their bikini panties, doing each others' hair and nails, and playing Barbie's Dream Date
3. Jennifer's Saturday night cocktail party really started to get good when
a. Poppy started drinking her fifth glass of wine
b. To make a very important point, Poppy started simulating giving oral sex
c. Poppy volunteered her services as a singer in her hostess's a capella group, and after she was politely turned down, insisted on singing "Happy Birthday" to her hostess. At the top of her lungs.
d. Jennifer started serving Jell-O shots
e. All of the above
3. One of the following did NOT happen:
a. blackbird and Poppy posed for Lesbian pictures
b. blackbird, Poppy, and Wendy discovered that they speak fluent Australian
c. Jen, Fletch, Susie Sunshine, blackbird, Poppy, Wendy, Carol-in-Texas, and Mr. Buxom rampaged through an empty model apartment commenting loudly on how grossly overpriced and underwhelming it was
d. Poppy spent all of Saturday afternoon cleaning and tidying her apartment and making it lovely and welcoming for her internet friends
4. Every single woman in Poppy's apartment owns a pair of Nick and Nora Sock Monkey Slippers except:
a. blackbird
b. Poppy
c. Susie Sunshine
d. Wendy
5. The single sexiest article of clothing worn to Jennifer's cocktail party on Saturday night was definitely
a. blackbird's black elbow-length Gypsy Rose Lee kid gloves
b. Susie Sunshine's amazing exploding white blouse
c. Wendy's low-cut chocolate brown velvet cocktail dress
d. Poppy's granny pants
And now my cheeks hurt from laughing again...
ReplyDeleteDamn, and Blackbird won't let anyone take her picture, so I KNOW there will be no evidence on anyone's blog anywhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd when I saw the name Jennifer, I actually stopped and thought, "Wait a moment, but I wasn't there?!?" Yep, I need to get a new name. And a life.
Hey, waitaminute...
ReplyDeleteCan bb see her reflection in a mirror?
-J.
I have no idea, but GOOD LORD, what a party!
ReplyDeleteOh my, I'm hella jealous of all of you.
ReplyDeleteI think I'll get a pair of those slippers just to pretend.
I think I used up all my funny...
ReplyDeleteJennifer: There will probably be bits of her. Just like on her blog. I may, for example, have captured her left earlobe. From a distance. And out of focus.
ReplyDeleteJoke: She can see her reflection in my mirrors. After she uses some Windex to get rid of the millions of little hand prints.
Schmutzie: Get the slippers! The bottoms are made of that memory foam and they are incredibly comfortable. As well as elegant.
bb: No way! It's just Monday--a day unfit for man or beast.
Well, just color me green. And sad.
ReplyDeleteWhat... no "all of the above" for question number 2? I am so envious. I want blog friends close enough to visit but no.. I gotta live out here in the freaking cactus and sticks where no one ever visits except the stupid tourons every summer. And I don't know any of them anyway. Well Mindy did come visit me in August. But there were kids involved so no massive drinking events or squabbling over who was going to sleep where and with whom.
ReplyDeleteWhy oh WHY did I move from Chicago? I could've crashed your party!
ReplyDeleteI'm greener today--your party sounds like stupendous fun. But when Blackbird mentioned it beforehand, I sort of knew it would be better than my annual golf luncheon.
ReplyDelete