Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Penises

Things are heating up in Iceland. Sigurdur Hjartarson, founder and owner of the Icelandic Phallological Museum, the world's first museum devoted entirely to the penis, has received four offers for the only specimen missing in his collection: the human phallus, or as we like to refer to it when we're not indulging ourselves by writing semi-plagiarized press releases, the one-eyed trouser snake.

That's right. The museum has pretty much every kind of penis you can imagine. Blue whale? check. Hamster? Check. To prove it, here is a picture of Mr. Hjartarson posing next to a stuffed bull elephant's winkydink.


Personally, I can't imagine why someone would start collecting penises in the first place, let alone start an entire Musee du Sausage-fest.

And why Iceland? This seems to me more the sort of thing you'd find in New Orleans. Particularly the French Quarter. Especially during Mardi Gras. I could totally see The Johnson Museum of OMG I Am So Drunk! OMG look at that one!

But wait. The squeals, the pointing, the loud shrieks of laughter? All the exhibits would shrink away to nothing.

So that's why the museum is located in Iceland. The exhibits are shy.

10 comments:

  1. But it's so cold there, there must be massive shrinkage!

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  2. *LMAO* Oh did this ever get me giggling...problem is that my son walked into the room just as I pulled up your webpage with PENIS in big letters *LMAO*

    But seriously...a MUSEUM?! Do people just not have better things to do with their time?

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  3. Yea, what Avitable said.

    Have you seen a goat penis? Makes that silly bully elephant look short. (um, just sayin' is all)

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  4. Shrinkage is right. That bull elephant is smaller than a horse. And that blue whale penis? Shrunk down to almost nothing. Poor thing!

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  5. From now on, when people ask me what I "do", I'm going to tell them I'm a phallologist. It sounds WAY better than housewife, yo.

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  6. That guy's lookin' a little too proud of that elephant weenie there.

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  7. They have a penal colony? What? Where's my coffee?

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  8. Jokes about cold weather and shrinkage aside, this begs the question, where does one locate a vagina museum?

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  9. In the Holland Tunnel.

    Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "going Dutch."

    [rimshot!]

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  10. Have you seen this?

    http://www.absolutelytrue.com/index.php/2008/05/14/fresh_cut_flowers

    Has nothing to do with the museum, which made me want to know how exactly they harvested those peni and if anyone said, "I'm not dead yet."

    But it did make me laugh.

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.