Thursday, October 30, 2008

I used to really like Gmail

but then the spam started.

It's reached the point where the stuff I really want to read is buried beneath all the marketing crap I'm getting because of my semi-defunct shopping blog and my pathetic once-a-month contributions as a BlogHer Contributing Editor. My email address is now readily available to millions of mediocre marketing minions. And they are taking full advantage.

Mind you, Gmail is eating all the Viagra advertisements and the stuff with Asian characters. Which is good. Because this

巧虎 ... 讓喜愛巧虎的孩子,可以跟巧虎一起「唱唱跳跳」律動身體

probably means "Hello, stupid English-speaking American ... kindly give us your money before we waterboard you with our cruel and unusual Nigerian money-wiring scams."

But not all the spam is that obvious, so Gmail doesn't automatically send it to my spam folder. For example, tonight I received an email with this intriguing subject line:

Halloween Post: Hilda the Goat Offers Tips for Kids during Halloween

Well, who could resist Hilda the Goat? Not I. I immediately clicked on it to discover that

Hilda, the ReadAloud Spokesgoat has a great Halloween message for kids and parents.
And I think that message is "Delete this bizarre email before it eats your brain."

In other Halloween news, I learned that

"Monster Mash"™ Singer'™s Ashes Turned Into Diamond

Well. Who could resist that? If you're one of the unlucky few who did not receive this email, check it out:
Monster Mash Singer’s Daughter Turns His Cremated Remains into a Diamond.

Los Angeles, CA October 31st, 2008 – Bobby Pickett who co-wrote and performed "The Monster Mash", died at the age of 69 on April 25, 2007 in Los Angeles, California, due to complications from leukemia. His daughter Nancy Huus was at his side when he died.

After his death, Nancy had a .44 ct colorless LifeGem diamond created from his cremated remains. She wears it in a white gold solitaire ring. Pickett was diagnosed with leukemia 5 years ago, and he and his daughter Nancy talked openly about death. “I saw a show about turning cremated remains into diamonds,” said Nancy, “I immediately called my father and told him that I wanted to make a diamond from his cremated remains; he loved the idea.”

On Halloween Pickett used to say “They dig me up every year.” This year for Halloween his daughter is wearing him as a LifeGem Diamond Ring. “Bobby was a minimalist, not elaborate,” said Huus. Her simple solitaire ring reflects that personality.

Frankly, I'm surprised to hear that the Monster Mash guy was transformed into something so essentially dull as a less-than-half-a-carat colorless diamond.

I'd have picked him for at least 2 carats of a fancy colored stone.

And to think that I considered this spam! I'm ashamed of myself. This story is so weird that I'm tempted to post it verbatim on Mamarazzi.


  1. I actually once got an email in cyrillic (greek or russian?) in my work account. Yes, and countless ones in Chinese.

    Glad you did think to share the Monster Mash story. It made a really good Halloween post.


    (who came ovah heah b/c you asked me to on Twittah)

  2. It sort of distorts the meaning of "ashes to ashes, dust to dust".


  3. I can't help but wonder what the heck they were trying to pitch to you. The option of turning loved ones into diamonds? A Monster Mash CD? What? The people must know.
    Also, now I'm sad I just scattered my cat's ashes in the garden. A diamond ring would have totally freaked out my friends way more than just carting his ashes around in my car for over 6 months. (No, not from sentimentality, just from plain procrastination and laziness.)
    Found your blog through a Twitter search on the economy. Glad to have done my part for your stats by clicking through. Great blog!


Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.