Tuesday, October 14, 2008

You can tap into my fashion expertise--for free!

Did you know that I'm a fashion expert? Well, I am.

What do fashion experts do? Well, right now I'm listening to a bunch of guys drive a Bobcat up and down my driveway while they tear up asphalt.

And what do self-declared fashion experts wear to listen to their driveways being demolished?

Well, let's see: a pair of Target Merona bootcut jeans, a SnapShirts Opiate of the Masses word cloud t-shirt, and a black Target hoodie. Also a pair of strangely expensive Thierry Rabotin black kid ballet flats, thus giving the lie to the old adage that you can upgrade your look by pairing cheap clothes with expensive shoes.

Note to all the editors of every fashion magazine out there: it doesn't work.

Yes, there definitely seems to be a certain Tarjay-ishness to my ensemble this morning, which is a good thing, because it gives me street cred. You see, unlike Oprah, who has legions of shopping minions to find stuff for her, I'm doing this all by myself. And as you can see, I bring a certain amount of real-life, small town credibility to the task of ferreting out bargains at Target.

You see, here in Small Town America, we like to sit around the kitchen table and talk about what ridiculous new fads the fashion industry has produced this year, and how we won't stand for those gosh-darned Neiman Marcus prices, and how we can get equally faddy and ridiculous looking versions at Target, Old Navy, The Gap, and Hot Topic.

And when we're done, we blog about it at BlogHer. You betcha!

6 comments:

  1. You shop at Target? I'm genuinely surprised by this.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are also an expert on cooking, non? Well do you have a good recipe for pumpkin soup?

    Hope so. A pumpkin-loving boyfriend hangs in the balance.

    FA

    ReplyDelete
  3. No, you didn't say "You betcha" I read that wrong, right? It's the vodka doing screwy things with my eyes, right?

    Okay.

    I get you look hot.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Religion is the opiate of the people" is one of the most frequently quoted statements of Karl Marx. The quote originates from the introduction of his 1843 work Contribution to Critique of Hegel's Philosophy of Right which was subsequently released one year later in Marx's own journal Deutsch Französische Jahrbücher, a collaboration with Arnold Ruge.

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    ReplyDelete
  5. hesslei:

    And as I'm sure you know, all opiates are derived from poppies.

    Hence the name of this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Which is why I love you just as much as I love Clinton Kelly--and an itty bit more than Stacy London.

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.