You can tap into my fashion expertise--for free!

Did you know that I'm a fashion expert? Well, I am.

What do fashion experts do? Well, right now I'm listening to a bunch of guys drive a Bobcat up and down my driveway while they tear up asphalt.

And what do self-declared fashion experts wear to listen to their driveways being demolished?

Well, let's see: a pair of Target Merona bootcut jeans, a SnapShirts Opiate of the Masses word cloud t-shirt, and a black Target hoodie. Also a pair of strangely expensive Thierry Rabotin black kid ballet flats, thus giving the lie to the old adage that you can upgrade your look by pairing cheap clothes with expensive shoes.

Note to all the editors of every fashion magazine out there: it doesn't work.

Yes, there definitely seems to be a certain Tarjay-ishness to my ensemble this morning, which is a good thing, because it gives me street cred. You see, unlike Oprah, who has legions of shopping minions to find stuff for her, I'm doing this all by myself. And as you can see, I bring a certain amount of real-life, small town credibility to the task of ferreting out bargains at Target.

You see, here in Small Town America, we like to sit around the kitchen table and talk about what ridiculous new fads the fashion industry has produced this year, and how we won't stand for those gosh-darned Neiman Marcus prices, and how we can get equally faddy and ridiculous looking versions at Target, Old Navy, The Gap, and Hot Topic.

And when we're done, we blog about it at BlogHer. You betcha!