This should hold you while I make potato salad

Hey everybody! Want to come to our Fourth of July cookout? And the pile into my van and drive to the town playing field to watch the fireworks?

What could be more patriotic than serving trademarked foods?

What--you already have plans? You don't know where Newtopia is? You suspect that we'll overcook the burgers? In general, "no, thank you?"

THANK GOD. Because internet, I don't mean to be ungracious, but I think I invited everyone I know to my house for dinner tomorrow night, and I only have so much refrigerator space. Also, Mr. Buxom informs me that the hose thing that brings the gas to the grill has a leak, so we're going to have to use charcoal.

So I've decided to make a big platter of fried chicken.

Just so you know? I don't garnish my fried chicken with lettuce.
Low calorie unprocessed foods must never touch high calorie
processed foods. It's not kosher.

That will free up the Weber for the ribs. Then when the ribs are cooked, we can do individual hot dogs and hamburgers for the people who want them.

For sides, I'll make cole slaw, potato salad, and The World's Most Fattening Salad.

For dessert, I'd really love to make real strawberry shortcake the way my mother always made it, with real biscuits, real whipped cream, and a big bowl of hulled, sliced strawberries macerating in sugar until they saucify themselves.


But I know I won't be that organized, so the kids' dessert will be ice cream treats or individual Jell-Os with aerosol whipped cream. With a fancy fruit salad for the grown-ups. You know, maybe one of those oh-so-impressive watermelon baskets.

I could totally make this. Complete with those garnishes that look like pasties.

So listen, I've got to come up with a grocery list and shop and get cooking.

In the meantime, I posted an entry to Mamarazzi. It's not my greatest. In fact, it's an easy sleazy post-a-video entry. But listen, people: the cream might come Rediwipped^TM, but that Jell-O isn't going to make itself.