Wednesday, November 07, 2012

The two-party system is fattening.

I weigh in on Tuesdays now, and this morning, I was delighted to tip the scales at a mighty 171.6. This means I currently weigh less than I have since 2005 or some such. And that I could weigh 160-something by Thanksgiving.

I'm losing weight at a rate of less than a half pound a week, which is healthy and prudent and allows me to eat and drink as much like a normal person as possible. But at times, the process feels as slow and tedious and mind-numbing as a descriptive passage by Anthony Trollope. Maybe even Henry James.

At any rate, I was all calloo, callay this morning, so I decked myself out in my new cute color-blocked cashmere dress.

Magaschoni Colorblock Cashmere Dress

Which I bought recently, and is now on sale for $139.

Anyway, I voted, and then I went to a ladies' luncheon at a ladies' club in Chicago, where I inhaled everything they served me. I really intended to have some broth or something for dinner.

And I stuck to my resolution and fed the kids and sat down in front of the television to watch election returns.

Well, honestly, who knew that Presidential elections were so fattening? I sat there and listened to the talking heads, switching from ABC (where Diane Sawyer looked great) to Fox (where I was extremely disturbed by Megyn Kelly's helmet head) to MSNBC (where I tried to tell whether Rachel Maddow was wearing false eyelashes). Hey, this is gripping stuff, people! 

But no matter what I watched, Messieurs Obama and Romney acted like a pair of groundhogs and refused to come out and give their speeches.

Meanwhile, I ate the leftover pasta carbonara and broccoli, then started to wolf down every disgusting snack in the house. I ate Junior Mints and Cheddar Flavored Sun Chips and Amstel Lite and a Skinny Cow Fudge Bar and an entire punnet of fresh strawberries.

I'm not going anywhere near a scale tomorrow, because I know I'll have gained five pounds. and I blame the United States Constitution in general, and the electoral college in particular.



LOL! Onward, no judgements.


hostess of the humble bungalow said...

You'll get right back on track tomorrow.
Cute dress, and love cashmere!

Me, myself, and I

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