The one where she crawls out of the trash

Hello internet, how time flies. Or does it? Part of me thinks it's still March.

At any rate, I thought I'd do a review of the products I used up in April and May. There were kind of a lot of them, and not surprisingly, none of them were makeup, which apparently has the half-life of plutonium. But since I apparently majored in Good Grooming in college, there is all kinds of bath and body stuff.

Kiehl's Body Fuel (33.8 oz) $54

I bought this at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale a couple of years ago ... I don't really remember why, except that Emily Noel, a YouTube beauty guru, mentioned that she was buying it for her husband. I thought it was hilarious that this stuff contains caffeine. Does Kiehl's really think that I'll believe that adding caffeine to our showers will help wake us up more? Or do much of anything at all?

It smells kind of manly, but not full-on charging musk ox. Still, I wouldn't bother to repurchase. It turns out my husband is more of a soap fan. And I guess I am, too.

Kikusamane Skincare Emulsion (380 ml) $16.65

This sake-based Japanese moisture lotion was recommended by my invisible internet friend Diane Hardin. I originally bought it for my face, but since it is extremely cheap, and I was getting to the bottom of the bottle, decided to start using it on my body. It is extremely light in texture, but moisturizing. It has lots of humectants and the fermented rice extract is supposed to be great for soothing the skin. And there are ceramides, cholesterol, and amino acids, all of which replenish the skin. On the down side, it smells like bubble gum, but if you can live with the smell, it's a great cheap moisturizer for the face and body.

Bath and Body Works Beach Nights and Waikiki Beach Coconut (8 oz) $13.50

Bath and Body Works lotions are basically creamy cologne. They are incredibly strongly scented, and their moisturizing power is limited. The label mentions that they contain shea butter and Vitamin E, but these ingredients appear waaaaay down the list ... after fragrance. It's not that these are terrible lotions; they do contain solid moisturizing ingredients--it's just that they are the cheapest ingredients available (water, glycerine, petrolatum, dimethicone.) Feel free to use and enjoy these lotions, if, like me, you like to smell like a Pina colada or a toasted marshmallow--but use them for their fragrance, and not for their superior moisturizing properties.

And never pay retail. There is always a sale of some kind at BBW.

Estee Lauder Luxe Body Creme (6.7 oz) [Discontinued] $49.50

I snapped up some of this stuff when one of my favorite YouTubers, Dustin Hunter, mentioned that it smelled amazing and was unfortunately being discontinued. It was half price, so I felt it was worth the risk. Sadly, it does smell amazing, and it's a great hand and body creme. Estee Lauder designed it to complement their fragrances, and although I only wear one EL fragrance, (Private Collection Tuberose Gardenia) I find that it works with every fragrance I wear, since it is rose-based, and so are many perfumes.

Why doesn't every cosmetics company come out with something like this? It's sooo good!