Thursday, February 17, 2005

Eyes without a face


shar-pei
Originally uploaded by Trilby.
What the hell?

I ask because last night I fell asleep on my daughter's bed at about 9:15. Passed out cold and didn't wake up until 5:00 or so--and that only happened because I was so uncomfortable. She has a twin bed, and she was taking up half of it, her stuffed animals were in another quarter of it, and I was left with only about six inches of mattress. So I had been sleeping on my left side all night in this weird squeezed position, and at 5:00 a.m., my body had finally had enough and woke me up.

When I shuffled into the bathroom to brush my teeth and stuff, this is what I saw in the mirror. The horror! My face was gone--and in its place, some prankster had left ... an accordion!

My mind reeled in dumb shock. And then questions surged forth--questions that I was too thoughtful to ask aloud at five o'clock in the morning, so I'll ask them here. What happened? Who did this to my face? And what am I supposed to do with it now? I don't know how to play the accordion--particularly a sagging, apparently broken one. What am I supposed to do with the damned thing?

Mind you, I do know how to play the piano. So this leaves me with only one question: are Botox shots in order? I hear they do wonders. So maybe, if they're done deftly enough, they can turn an accordion back into a piano.

3 comments:

  1. Nah. Just refrain from exhaling in public, and as far as teh world is concerned you'll always be the same fetching, youthful Trilby you've always been.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just pull all that extra skin to the back of your neck, secure it with a Blax elastic, and wrap a fetching Hermes scarf around it. No one will know!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Is it true that once you go Blax you never go back?

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.