They'll have to pry the lipstick out of my cold, dead hand.
This is why God invented husbands:Child: What is a c-o-n-d-o-m?Dad: No, no, no [Child's name, say, "Billy"] it's c-o-n-d-o-m-i-n-i-u-m. It's the kind of apartment you own, not rent.CURTAIN FALLS[Thunderous applause]
Gentle Readers: For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.xxx, Poppy.