Does this picture make me look gay?

Tom Cruising
Originally uploaded by Trilby.

Tom, if you want people to think Katy isn't a beard, don't, repeat DO NOT get interviewed in Details magazine. Or appear on the cover in a tight wet t-shirt. Or let that photograph be used in a pop-up ad (sorry, people.) Or pose for shirtless photographs pouring bottled water all over yourself. Or do your trademark Unsmiling Level Stare While Looking All Sweaty thing.

Because I'm sorry, but if you pose for pictures like that in a magazine that only men read, you're going to end up the subject of a lot of male masturbatory fantasies.

Now, if you're comfortable with that, that's fine. But news flash, Tom--this is no way to fight rumors that you're gay.

--P.