If I'm fat, this must be Tuesday.

I should have made pancakes for breakfast. It's traditional. You know, the old Shrove Tuesday pancake supper church fundraiser?

What--you don't know? You've never been? You have missed much, my friend.

See, you're supposed to be having a last minute pig-out before you start your 40 day Lenten fast. Some people celebrate Fat Tuesday in New Orleans with Po Boys and Hurricanes (wonder how many of those they'll be selling this year ...), and Swedes apparently eat these amazing almond-paste filled buns, but my people do it via a huge pancake supper where we supposedly eat up all the eggs, milk, bacon and sausages we won't be eating during Lent.

This year for Lent, I'm giving up white flour and everything made with white flour. Now that's sacrifice, people! Before two days are past, I expect to be begging Satan to come over and turn some stones into bread, as in "Pretty please, Mr. Lucifer, sir, I would kill for an English muffin."

So--because I forgot all about the whole pancake Mardi Gras thing until after I had already eaten my usual heath-nut bowl of whole-wheat Wheat Chex, I ate an Oatmeal Scotchie cookie for dessert. That being the most junky, buttery, sugary, white floury thing I could find in the house. Oatmeal Scotchies are the tools of Satan. They are the uber-unholy. And if you don't believe me, read this.

Now ... what naughty thing can I have for lunch?