* What is your salad dressing of choice? I rub the salad bowl with the cut side of a garlic clove; add the salad ingredients; add a splash of Extra Virgin Olive Oil; toss; add a very small amount of something sour (any one of a variety of vinegars, but sometimes lemon juice)); toss; add salt and pepper; toss.
* What is your favorite fast food restaurant? I hate fast food.
* What is your favorite sit down restaurant? I don't know. I really don't like to go out to dinner that much. On the other hand, I love being waited on. I guess Cracker Barrel. Or Warren's.
* On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? I leave 20 percent or more if the service is good (or if I'm buying something really cheap; it seems silly to leave someone fifty cents) and less if the service sucked.
* What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Bread.
* Name three foods you detest above all others. Cremora; those chocolates that have a jelly filling; salmon. The first two are fairly easy to avoid, but that last one is stalking me.
* What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? If Taiwanese, steamed buns with barbecued pork. If regular, Ma Po Tofu.
* What are your pizza toppings of choice? At home, I like goat cheese, if I'm feeling chichi. Otherwise, I like vegetables, especially broccoli. Or anchovies. No meat.
* What do you like to put on your toast? Butter and raspberry jam.
* What is your favorite type of gum? Eclipse sugarless peppermint.
* Number of contacts in your cell phone? Maybe a dozen.
* Number of contacts in your email address book? Maybe forty.
* What is your wallpaper on your computer? The regular blue background. I need to be able to see.
* What is the screen saver on your computer? The record cover art for everything I've downloaded from iTunes, which means that Lord Peter Wimsey novel covers are duking it out with Al Green, Marilyn Horne, and Marilyn Monroe.
* Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? Yes, but they're not of me.
* How many land line phones do you have in your house? Six.
* How many televisions are in your house? Three.
* What kitchen appliance do you use the least? Coffee maker.
* What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? Pre-thirties jazz and swing.
* How many sex toys do you own that require batteries? That depends--are we talking about things like massagers or wink-wink-nudge-nudge "massagers?" Actually it doesn't matter; I guarantee that anything battery-operated I own that designed for my pleasure has been stripped of its batteries and isn't working, because someone needed the batteries for a toy.
* What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My left hand.
* Are you right handed or left handed? Right.
* Do you like your smile? Not really, so I do a lot of scowling, instead.
* Have you ever had anything removed from your body? A couple of teeth. A couple of bumps from my face. A boy. (The girl came out by herself.)
* Would you like to? Sure. Need anything? Help yourself.
* Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? Yes. I loathe being bored.
* Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Touch, which makes me a fun date. The rest of my senses haven't performed particularly well since I was in high school.
* When was the last time you had a cavity? Cavities? Who gets cavities any more? Cavities are for newbies. Me, I have crowns replaced, and the dentist "cleans up" the icky stuff before installing a new one.
* What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? It's a tie between a mug of tea, a glass of wine, and my laptop. (Not really. Actually, I juggle a lot of suitcases.)
* Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope--not even when they were removing the boy.
* If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? I don't know. I'll have to get back to you about that. At some time in the indefinite future.
* If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? What--you don't like Poppy? I like it--it's flowery without being fulsome.
* How do you express your artistic side? By cleaning up other people's messes, but leaving my crap all over the place.
* What color do you think you look best in? Red.
* How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? That depends. Do I get to be butch, or do I have to be femme?
* Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Sure. You know those caps at the end of a ballpoint pen that are so fun to remove with your teeth?
* If we weren't bound by society's conventions, do you have a relative you'd make a pass at? Well, I have a cousin I used to think was kind of cute. But no, I wouldn't. On the whole, I didn't make a whole lot of passes even when I was younger and cuter. Why would I risk rejection now to commit incest? Anyway, I'm married.
* How often do you go to church? Whenever I want to, and sometimes when I don't.
* Have you ever saved someone's life? Nope.
* Has someone ever saved yours? Yep.
For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.
* Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for any amount of money whatsoever? No.
* Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Yes, if I were drunk, it was a joke, and the poor girl didn't read too much into it. I'm no heartbreaker.
* Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? No, but not because I'd think it was icky. I mean, we're talking someone I'd find cute, right? But no, because I'm no ho, and anyway, I'm married.
* Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? NO WAY. Sick bastid.
* Would you never blog again for $50,000? Maybe.
* Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Frankly, I think the magazine would pay me to keep my clothes on.
* Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? Yes, if I were drunk, it was a joke, and the poor bottle didn't read too much into it.
* Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? Why anyone pay me that kind of money when the state of Texas does that for free?
* Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? That's not enough money. I'd do it for a million dollars, though.
* Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? Sure. Hell, I'd be ripping someone off by going that high; I'd do it for a lot less.