Saturday, August 12, 2006

"Get your patchouli stink out of my house."

In a perfect world, a woman's1 husband and children could join her in beating the living crap out of her ageing hippy former-Hare-Krishna, vegetarian, Hindu, yoga-pose-doing-in-the-living-room mother-in-law.

What I'm imagining is a full-on Rodney King style beating, ending with the woman pulling a 10,000 BTU air conditioning unit out of the window and heaving it onto her mother-in-law's face.2

Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world.

However, she flies out tomorrow. So there's that.

1 I name no names.
2 Yes, I stole the whole scene from High Fidelity. Sue me.

9 comments:

  1. So it was that kind of visit.

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  2. Just THAT kinda MiL, I'm guessing.

    -J.

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  3. There are no words.

    Seriously. None.

    But that won't stop me from doing my best. At some point in the not-too-distant future when she has gotten the FUCK out of here.

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  4. So sorry, but at least she is giving you some fodder for a future book.


    Fiddledeedee

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  5. On the plus side, you will return to Chicago a city finally freed from the menace of foie gras and the criminal element who perpetuate the foie gras cycle.

    -J.

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  6. I came Of Age (in my mind only - I was still very much under the clutches of the parental unit) when hippies were petering out, so to speak. I always found them to be a free-loading, disease-passing, idiotic-speech spewing lot. I mean, Really? Get a fucking job and try to be all Peace Love and Waterbeds.

    And whenever Hare Krishna's approached me, I loudly asked "Do YOU have any spare change? Please?" with my hand out, dropping their brochure in the process. They were fierce at the Denver airport for a long time. Then someone took a swing at one of them, and they went all un-monklike and it turned into a concourse-wide battle. That was the end of Hare Krishnas at the old airport, I do believe.

    I am assuming she did her own cooking at least? Possibly some babysitting? ANYTHING?!

    Deep breaths. It will give you more strength to do the A/C unit toss.

    And since I'm such a voyeur, I can't wait to read the tale. DO tell.

    WVW is blewjvpg "Blew junior varsity pig?"

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  7. I feel for you.

    Thank goodness my MIL has not visited since Easter of 1997 LOL. And we only live 5 hours apart. I guess I made myself clear on the last visit LOL

    Surfing through from BE. You've got my vote. Simply because I think you deserve it ;)

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  8. ew. I have been imagining patchouli stink all weekend because of you. Just ew.

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  9. Ah, I love that scene from High Fidelity. Well-played! :)

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.