In a perfect world, a woman's1 husband and children could join her in beating the living crap out of her ageing hippy former-Hare-Krishna, vegetarian, Hindu, yoga-pose-doing-in-the-living-room mother-in-law.
What I'm imagining is a full-on Rodney King style beating, ending with the woman pulling a 10,000 BTU air conditioning unit out of the window and heaving it onto her mother-in-law's face.2
Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world.
However, she flies out tomorrow. So there's that.
1 I name no names.
2 Yes, I stole the whole scene from High Fidelity. Sue me.
So it was that kind of visit.
ReplyDeleteJust THAT kinda MiL, I'm guessing.
ReplyDelete-J.
There are no words.
ReplyDeleteSeriously. None.
But that won't stop me from doing my best. At some point in the not-too-distant future when she has gotten the FUCK out of here.
So sorry, but at least she is giving you some fodder for a future book.
ReplyDeleteFiddledeedee
On the plus side, you will return to Chicago a city finally freed from the menace of foie gras and the criminal element who perpetuate the foie gras cycle.
ReplyDelete-J.
I came Of Age (in my mind only - I was still very much under the clutches of the parental unit) when hippies were petering out, so to speak. I always found them to be a free-loading, disease-passing, idiotic-speech spewing lot. I mean, Really? Get a fucking job and try to be all Peace Love and Waterbeds.
ReplyDeleteAnd whenever Hare Krishna's approached me, I loudly asked "Do YOU have any spare change? Please?" with my hand out, dropping their brochure in the process. They were fierce at the Denver airport for a long time. Then someone took a swing at one of them, and they went all un-monklike and it turned into a concourse-wide battle. That was the end of Hare Krishnas at the old airport, I do believe.
I am assuming she did her own cooking at least? Possibly some babysitting? ANYTHING?!
Deep breaths. It will give you more strength to do the A/C unit toss.
And since I'm such a voyeur, I can't wait to read the tale. DO tell.
WVW is blewjvpg "Blew junior varsity pig?"
I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness my MIL has not visited since Easter of 1997 LOL. And we only live 5 hours apart. I guess I made myself clear on the last visit LOL
Surfing through from BE. You've got my vote. Simply because I think you deserve it ;)
ew. I have been imagining patchouli stink all weekend because of you. Just ew.
ReplyDeleteAh, I love that scene from High Fidelity. Well-played! :)
ReplyDelete