Random? You want random?

You got it. Dateline--Randomville, New Random:

1. I've been kind of quiet lately, mostly because I've been traveling, but also because in my extensive packing, in which I packed all kinds of stuff for myself and my children, making very sure that all the electronica had all the necessary adaptors, chargers, memory cards, yadda yadda yadda, I managed to pack the digital camera and the iPod and the audiobook and the NetFlix envelopes and the charger for my laptop, yay! Which I left behind the last time I came here.

Only to discover, when we were about four hours from Chicago, that I left my laptop at home.

So, no computer except my husband's laptop which is a teensy tiny Sharp model, very light, with a tiny keyboard for making lots of typos, and about zero minutes worth of battery charge in it at any moment, and on top of that, it.

runs.

so.

slowly

that it drives me mental.

But today my husband went out and bought a desktop. Because he's going to set up robotic light turning-off and temperature upping-and-downing type stuff. Whatever. The important thing is that this baby runs like the wind. So I'm happy about that.

2. The heat wave appears to be over. THANK GOD.

3. I went up to the local library and took out six books. You might never hear from me again.

4. Except there's this nice new HP desktop that I can totally dominate, so knowing me, you will.

5. Oh, and another thing I forgot? My wedding ring. (I also forgot my engagement ring, my watch, and all of my earrings, but their absence won't affect my ability to go out to a bar and try to pick up guys the way a lack of a wedding ring will.)

6. The seafood around here is as tasty as ever. Which means I'll start becoming more intelligent any day now.

7. "And it's about time," I--with my seafood-sharpened brain--can imagine you thinking.

8. There is no point in going away for a vacation if your children want to stay inside and play GameCube all day long. Because they can do that at home.

9. But at least I have a desktop with a fast chip.

10. And a refrigerator full of wine.

11. What I'm missing now? Is a punch line.