Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Are we not mental? We are bloggers.

I was killing time waiting for the idiotic babysitter to call me and tell me that she's lost. Again. And I figured it was time to catch up on some of my blogs. Many of which are mommyblogs.

And while I was reading, I discovered that blogger A was over-reacting to that, and blogger B was over-reacting to this, and I started to wonder: are all mommybloggers mental?

Am I being subjective, or is this an independently verifiable fact? Is there some kind of depressive miasma that engulfs you when you start to blog? Or was it there to begin with? In fact, did the depression cause the blogging?

And such drama! Over ... not very much. Is it real, or is it Memorex? Is it everyone, or is it just Finslippy?

Because today Finslippy was talking about her son having meltdowns all over the map--weeping hysterically because he's hungry or the other kids aren't being friendly. And she's getting hundreds of supportive comments from various people, all about the awful grown-ups who say the wrong, insensitive thing to a child who is having a tantrum at their feet. While they're waiting for what they hoped would be a nice, relaxing lunch.

And--because I'm an asshole and just can't help it--I find myself thinking not "Oh, poor Alice." No, my first thought is "Have you had Henry evaluated by a mental health professional?"

Am I totally alone in this, or is reading some of the blogs out there ... kind of a like watching a trainwreck? I mean, when you have a blogger who admits to being on meds ... am I the only person IN THE WORLD who thinks there might be a chance that the child has problems, too?

16 comments:

  1. Oy, Ms Buxom:

    Batten down the hatches; you've certainly shot one over the bow!

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  2. It's not like I'm agreeing with you just by being here in the comments, is it?



    What?

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  3. Oh. My. God.

    Brass, I tell you. Or steel.


    And what Blackbird said.

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  4. I estimate only about 6% of all blogs are really worth the read. If you just stay in my link section you'll be fine.

    The preceding self-serving announcement was brought to you by Hubris, the hair treatment smoothing more pomade on grown men who should know better since 1847.

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  5. Hmmm, I just read the post. My first reaction is "Well, both sets of people got rid of an annoyance by very opposite, but effective, behaviors."
    But, it wasn't my kid.
    I'd maybe reevaluate the mom's meds.

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  6. That's why my list of favorites has gotten very short.

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  7. P -

    My links list is pretty much based on hopping from comments - I love 'em all but I have just.too.many. and must condense.

    And even if H was a raving loon, most health care professionals won't do anything until he's at least school age.


    You're hilarious, as usual.

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  8. yes, we're all raging lunatics.

    your point is?

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  9. Those kinds of posts bug me too. The most amazing thing is that she got over 100 comments. It appears to me that finslippy may be a little oversensitive to the adults. I find it hard to believe that they were laughing at her child. Screaming toddlers can make people a little uncomfortable so they tend to try to lighten the situation or humor the child. I personally try not to subject adults to my toddler's temper tantrums and take their screaming ass home. I'm not sure who you were referring to in regards to admitting to being on meds so I'm not sure if I'm understanding your position on medication. Forgive me if I have no reason to think your last paragraph comes across a little Tom Cruise-ish. I personally think it's better to be on meds rather than parent from within the grips of depression or another mental illness. There shouldn't be any shame with it. Seems to me that finslippy might handle other adults better if she were on meds. Just my 2 cents. Please don't kill the messenger because then I can't read your blog which I've really enjoyed this last week.

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  10. Me? Disapprove of meds? HAHAHAHAHAHA! You should have been at Jen Lancaster's (Jennsylvania) to hear us all laughing away about being on pharmaceuticals.

    As far as I remember, Finslippy is on meds. But I might not have the facts straight because I don't read her blog all that often due to the trainwreck component. It's painful to watch someone in torment.

    Not to mention the us/them dynamic she's got set up between the intelligent/urban/sensitive her and the lumpen proletariat/suburban/insensitive rest of the world. You know, the people who try to jolly kids out of their tantrums, or shop at Party City, or you know, live in New Jersey. Of all places.

    Me, I've got two kids with neurobehavioral problems and a family history of depression, and all I can say is that if adults are having trouble dealing with my kid, I assume it's the kid's, and by extension, MY fault. Mine. Because I'm the parent.

    I'm still shuddering over the time my daughter screamed and kicked the seat of the woman in front of her on an airplane. Right after 9/11. When everyone was even more freaked out over air travel than they are now. Well, the woman screamed back. At the time, I thought "hey, way to deal with an autistic three-year-old," but mostly, I was just embarrassed that I didn't know how to control my own child.

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  11. I know what you mean. My oldest has Tourette's, anxiety, OCD, ADD,and LMNOP (okay just kidding about the last one). Anyway I often feel judged by her behavior.

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  12. My youngest was like Helen Keller w/short pants until he was 3. No talking, just screaming and thrashing. Then I said "WADEAMINNIT! I'M THE PARENT HERE!" and things changed. We added 2 more therapies a week, started 1-2-3 Magic for discipline and never looked back. He's 5 now and it is
    Daily
    No. Make that Hourly.
    Work.
    He NEVER gets a break.
    Even while we are driving, we are working on flashcards, conversation, social management skills.
    I carry food, water, extra clothing, a small deck of cards, a couple of cars, headache meds and TUMS at all times. Because neither one of us can afford to be anything less than prime. We try to not put him in situations where he'll short circuit. It's my job. I'm his parent. And he's getting way too heavy to drag out of miserable situations.
    He's talking now, but still doesn't sequence properly.
    Now we're working on food issues. Oy.
    And I did a "HUH?" then busted out laughing with that LMNOP, Slackermommy!

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  13. I thought finslippy was overreacting. From reading her blog occasionally, Henry comes across as a spoilt, rude child (did you read the entry about Henry hitting a babysitter?). The thought that he may need medical evaluation did not occur to me. From her posts, looks like finslippy is very judgemental, but cannot take it when she perceives other people to be the same way about her.

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  14. MsCellania, I totally agree with you. We do our best to put our daughter in situations where she can be successful. We rehearse with her through the day leading up to an event or activity about how we expect her to behave and what the consequences are if she doesn't. For a long time we put up with her disruptive behavior because it was easier to deal with than the tantrum, at least in the short term. Now we know better. Good for you for figuring out how to handle your son much quicker than we figured out our daughter.

    Anon, I couldn't agree with you more.

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  15. Five days later and no one's come after you with a pitchfork yet?

    Well played, my friend. Well played.

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Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.