Monday, April 02, 2007

Nobody expects Mrs. Buxom!

I'm way too busy. And yet, I needs must check into the internet to waste time I can't afford to waste. Amongst my time-wasters are such elements as: surprise, fear, a fanatical devotion to the Pope, and Googleism.

You know about Googleism, right? You search for your name and see what the internet says about you. And then you post your search results, heavily lightly edited, as a sad excuse for the blog entry you don't have time to write.

Here are my Googleism results. Remember: if you read it on the internet, it must be true.


Mrs. Buxom is the daughter of Mrs Not-As-Buxom
I like to think I evolved into a more buxom state. Think of it as Survival of the Buxomist. Either that or it's the hormones in the milk. The cows' milk, that is. Not Mrs. Not-As Buxom's.

Mrs. Buxom is married
Well, DUH.

Mrs. Buxom is no less enterprising than her worthy husband
He's not worthy! He's not worthy!

Mrs. Buxom is in a unique position
Actually, Mrs. Buxom is lounging in bed. Next to her worthy husband. Again.

Mrs. Buxom is a member of the First Presbyterian Church of Berkeley
Berkeley, CA? Where hippies came from? Are you sure? This doesn't sound like the Mrs. Buxom I know.

Mrs. Buxom is survived by her husband of 64 years
Wait a minute. Mrs. Buxom is dead?

Mrs. Buxom is also living
Oh no I'm not. See above. Sheesh.

Mrs. Buxom is being brought back to Cortez to be laid to rest next to her husband at the Cortez cemetery
See? I told you I was dead. And so much for my enterprising and worthy husband. The guy's a stiff. How enterprising can he be?

Mrs. Buxom is a member of the Old Union Christian Church
Wait a minute. I thought I was a Presbyterian Hippy. Or something.

Mrs. Buxom is survived by a son
Excellent! Even though I'm dead, I can rest easy, knowing that my son survived me. This means I never killed my son in a matricidal rage. However, I notice it doesn't mention anything about my daughter.

Mrs. Buxom is taking orders for school jackets and bookbags
and if you give her one, you're even stupider than you look.

Mrs. Buxom is still attacking gerald
Hey, who doesn't? (We're talking about that annoying guy on T.V., right? The investigative reporter? With the mustache?)

Mrs. Buxom is interviewing her Japanese visitors on the recent earthquake
Unfortunately, she doesn't speak Japanese. And they don't speak English.

3 comments:

  1. sarah o. is a student in mrs (Wow. After almost 21 years of marriage I still haven't graduated into missushood.)

    sarah o. is a senior at gross (After 7 years of consecutive diapering, I have a doctorate at gross.)

    sarah o. is no stranger to the leisurely jog (Au contraire, mon frere!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shall I fetch the comfy chair?

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.