I just received a letter from a grammar school classmate. He said that members of our class were interested in having some kind of reunion. Now mind you, I think that's a swell idea. I'm a fairly outgoing person, and by nature, I'm a joiner, so what the hell, right?
And then I started Googling my old classmates. And discovered that I am the only housewife in the bunch.
OK, I realize that old skool housewives are something of an endangered species, right up there with the manatees I so much resemble. But this is demoralizing. There doesn't seem to be a gentleman's C, slackerish, vice-president-in-his-father's-company person in the whole goddamned class. Except me.
I'm trying to be OK with this. I'm really working at it. I mean, sure they all have millions of degrees and publications and awards, but I can and do take a bit of pride in my accomplishments, modest though they are.
But I foresee another reunion where I go around telling everyone I'm a trophy wife.
Genius.
ReplyDeleteThe reason there aren't more housewives is because it's hard to be one.
ReplyDeleteHell, for years I've tried to be a househusband and found no purchase.
You flaneuse you.
-J.
Hold your head high and go in and be the best damn trophy wife you can be. :-)
ReplyDeleteOr, go back and tell everyone total whoppers. One person will hear how you're a neurosurgeon. Another will be regaled with tales of your funeral home business. And another former classmate will hear about how you successfully launder money through banks in the Caymens.
It's all about attitude.
Let's see -- how many of them are legends of the blogosphere, having a collective, a true community hold its collective breath, waiting to know that you returned safe and sound from foreign shores???
ReplyDeleteN.
Don't you have a trophy husband?
ReplyDeleteIsn't That Enough?
But what about the singing and the organizing grand charity events and the blogging?
ReplyDeleteAnd how many of your female classmates never had children, or are still (or again) single? They're probably envious of your trophy husband (That Stud Muffin You Married) and children and life.
ReplyDeleteGrass is always greener, and all that... At least that was how it seemed to me at my last reunion.
I'm sure you'll have a great time, just being your fabulous self.
Thank you for your kind remarks. I will keep them all in mind as I go--on some date to be determined--to flaunt my loserishness at this reunion.
ReplyDeleteBut you'll notice none of my classmates are over here telling me how great I am. And that's because they're all somewhere else laughing at me.
That's because none of your classmates have figured out how to use the intertubes...
ReplyDeleteN.
My 20th high school reunion was last month and I couldn't make it... I made my girlfriend promise to say, at least 3 times, "Well, Kristin is great, but I'm a little worried about how thin she is..."
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm one of those classmates of Poppy's, and I'm here to say she was great in fifth grade, and great now--terrific blog!--and there isn't anyone from those days I'm more looking forward to seeing. And no one will really care about who works at home or works at an office; we'll only want to giggle about the days when we were all snot-nosed goofballs, and look at pictures of our kids and pets. (Poppy: should that semi-colon in the previous sentence have been a colon? I never quite mastered the distinction.)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'll bet I'm the only one from that class who never went to college, let alone be just a thesis-shy of a Ph.D. So I lose to you in the loser sweepstakes, Your Buxomness. And I happen to know that at least one of the old gang at one point engaged in some nefarious doings for a living; I'll take a generous soul who devotes a lot of energy to activities like fund-raising over that any time. So there. (I'm more confident about that last semi-colon.
Ooo! ooo! Gossip! Nefarious doings, even.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely going to this reunion.
And echo, stick with me. Before you know it, you'll be punctuating like nobody's bidnis.