Wednesday, July 11, 2007

From the Mailbag

From "Fit Life"

I have been taking HGH Life™ for five weeks and there is a noticeable improvement in me overall. Waking up without muscular pain is the most obvious! When I run out, I shall be ordering as much as my pension will allow. I am in England and am 79 years young!

Dear Mr. Life:

Good for you, sir! I'll bet you don't look a day over 80.

Very truly yours,
Poppy Buxom
From "Rosie Hutton"

Good Day !

Business Trade company offers the position of Local Agent.
We are looking for the trustworthy person with excellent organizational and communicative skills. The good knowledge of computer and business practice will be your advantage. This is the part-time job, which can be combined with any permanent or other part-time job. No special experience is necessary.
There are different kinds of a part time job that our company offers.
We are waiting for your resume at our contact e-mail address: businesstrade99@aol.com

Dear Ms. Hutton:

You can't kid me. You're Manolo from the shoe blog.

Yours very truly,
Poppy Buxom

* * * * *
From D****

Hello,

I'm a freelance reporter with Newtopian Shores Magazine. I'm working on a "best of"-type piece on Newtopian Shores blogs, and I was hoping to ask you a few questions about The Opiate of the Masses. It's snarky, it's fun, and it's worth writing about.

Please feel free to e-mail or call me at (555) 555-1212. My deadline's kind of tight, but I'd love to get you in there.

Thanks,
D*****

Dear Mr. Wonderful:

I love you. Will you marry me?

Yours most sincerely,
Poppy Buxom

2 comments:

  1. I am torn between saying (a) it's about damn time you got some press and (b) er, good luck with that.

    So, uh, good luck with that damn press!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What?
    Nothing about the size of your penis?

    ReplyDelete

Gentle Readers:

For the time being, I've turned off comment moderation. Please don't spam; it's not nice.

xxx, Poppy.