For the past week, I've been wondering what in the hell I'm going to come up with to post about daily. What the hell do I have to say that's all that interesting? To the internet, I mean. I'm easily amused. I'm an intellectual, and that means I can keep myself busy all day long, thinking deep thoughts about transubstantiation. Or ants. Or how they get the jelly into a jelly doughnut.
But you, internet, are less easily amused. You, internet, are a cranky child, always demanding another story. And a better one.
Well, tough luck, internet. You have been warned. I'm going to be boring. For an entire month, I'm going to talk about ... dieting. And fitness.
And I'm not going to hide behind euphemisms and vague language. I'm talking real numbers, internet.
So here we are. It's day one of NaBloPoMo, and I'm 5' 7". I weigh 177 pounds. This gives me a Body Mass Index of 28, and that makes me Officially Overweight.
The upper range of a healthy weight for me is 160, and that's where I'm planning to go. (I'm actually planning on going lower. I've weighed 160 pounds, and I'm still fat at that weight. I'm much better at 148.) But life will be much better even at 160 pounds. My doctor won't lecture me, and little kids will stop making fun of me when I pass them on the street.
Oh, and one other thing. On August 29th, I joined Weight Watchers. At my first weigh in? I weighed 192.8 pounds. And that means while I was posting about being homeless and living at the gym, or how I was so obsessed with bathroom tile, I was lightheaded from hunger and not responsible for what I said.
But it also means I've already lost 15.8 pounds.
Excuse me while I pat myself on my slightly-less-chubby back.